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Help! I Want Kids & He Doesn't

worried young woman
Love, Family

YourTango Expert Jasbina Ahluwalia can help!

Question: I'm in a serious relationship with a guy I really love. He does not want to have kids and I do. What should I do?

Answer: In order to maintain a healthy relationship where both partners feel their needs are being met, each person must be willing to compromise. That said, there are areas where compromise might not be viable. I consider these to be areas of fundamental incompatibility and a strong desire to have or not have kids falls into this category.

Discuss this issue with him directly. Each of you should candidly share your respective viewpoints and the underpinnings of them. It is possible, for example, that you will discover that the real issue is the timing of having kids rather than the decision to have them.

If, after discussing the issue openly, there continues to be no consensus on whether having kids is a mutual life goal, you may wish to consider counseling to continue working through the issue together.

Jasbina Ahluwalia  is an Indian American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach.

She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina , the only Premier Full-Service Selective Search, Dating / Relationship Coaching  & Online Dating Support Firm – For Indian Singles.

Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show – conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness.

She has received worldwide press (Oprah, Chicago Tribune, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine) including TV and Video & Radio

For more information, please visit Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this column to Jasbina directly at info @

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This article was originally published at Intersections MATCH by Jasbina . Reprinted with permission from the author.


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