Steer clear of the eight steps below to pave yourself a much easier path to connect to your partner
Dating is like a battlefield. Making sure every move is calculated while trying to predict the reaction from the other side. You’ve met someone that you really like and want to possibly build a future with, but you don’t want to misstep or saying the wrong thing to screw it up.
The beginning of any relationship is quite confusing, unpredictable and both parties don’t really know where they stand nor where the relationship is going. But it differs for men and women at the start as we experience and process relationships differently. Men are more in the now while women tend to harp on the nuances and ‘clues’ both real and perceived.
Neither party intentionally - unless they really dislike the other - tries to sabotage a relationship as both go in with the best of intentions to make it work. But it happens, we are human and can’t predict every outcome or next step.
So you’ve found someone that makes your stomach turn, in a good way, and are thinking to yourself “man I hope I don’t f*** this up!” Well if you steer clear of the eight steps below, you’ll pave yourself a much easier path to connect with the new person in your life.
Here is some advice:
1. Don’t spill the beans. Don't tell everyone you and so and so are dating before it's an official relationship. “Opinions and too often jealousy from friends and family can wreak havoc on newly started relationships that doesn't have a solid foundation yet,” says Lori Salkin, matchmaker and dating coach at Saw You At Sinai.
2. Don’t over communicate. Since you are essentially strangers, calling or texting too often before you develop a solid relationship can actually hurt a relationship. as it can make it seem like there is a connection that actually does not exist from a quantity as opposed to quality of early interaction,” says Salkin.
3. Don’t overthink. Daters will overthink every little thing that happens and this can sabotage the relationship. It is better to go with the flow in the beginning and let things unfold organically,” says Samantha Daniels, romance expert and Founder of The Dating Lounge app.
4. Don’t be nosy. Even though we all want to know everything about our significant other immediately, it’s better to let them share things, especially more personal intimate details when they feel comfortable and when they are ready,” says Daniels.
5. Don't ask if they are seeing anyone else yet. “If it's brand new and you've met online, chances are they might be casually dating others until they know for sure,” says Julie Spira, online dating expert, dating coach, and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com.
6. Don’t stop dating. This holds true to any stage of a relationship but is “especially true at the beginning stages of a budding relationship,” says Thomas Edwards, Jr. Founder, The Professional Wingman®. “Avoid early complacency and make sure the two of you are continuously going out on dates. That’ll keep the relationship dynamic, fun, and most importantly, romantic.”
7. Don’t splurge. Although you may have good intentions, splurging on gifts or dates is not always the best option when getting to know someone. “Not only can it set a bad tone for the relationship, it can make one or the other in the relationship feel badly and or pressured about their level of interest and a relationship and sooner want to end it to not take advantage of the other's generosity,” says Salkin.
8. Don’t rush to have sex. You can ruin a relationship before it even starts by becoming sexual too quickly. A lot of times, people are so into each other in the beginning and see the future so clearly that they race to be intimate sexually,” concludes Daniels. Take that part, “more slowly so that your emotions and your connection to the other person keep in pace with how intimate you are.”
When it comes down to it, starting a new relationship should be exciting and not something to stress and lose sleep over. Stay true to yourself, keep these tips in mind and enjoy getting to know someone.
By: Jarone Ashkenazi