The quality of your love life is based on how well you know or don't know your worth.
Self worth is based on the value you place on yourself and what you think about yourself.
The Journey to True Worth Starts Within
Getting to the place of knowing your true worth is one of life’s journeys. Settling for less than you deserve, chasing love that isn’t yours, being afraid to speak authentically and being overly concerned with your partner’s thoughts of you are all signs of not knowing your worth.
As a successful woman, I didn’t recognize and honor my full worth until my early 40s. I stayed too long in the wrong relationships and stayed in casual relationships when I really wanted a committed relationship. I made a man my priority when I was just his option. I swallowed my voice when I should have spoken up. I thought I was more worthy if I was in a relationship.
Because I was successful in every other part of my life, I didn’t equate who I was being and what I was doing in my love life to not valuing my worth. I was only able to know and value my worth after doing the inner work.
What’s Your True Worth?
The value you place on yourself and what you think about yourself determines whether or not you know your full worth. What value do you place on yourself? What do you think about yourself? The way you answer these questions determine whether or not you know how much you’re worth. Knowing your worth is a gradual process that only happens with awareness and conscious change.
Answering these questions shows what and how you think, and feel and value about yourself. Do you…
Settle for less than you deserve?
Chase love that isn’t yours?
Make someone your priority while you’re their option?
Care more what others think of you than you think about yourself?
Spend time with men who can’t commit or are already in a relationship?
Think that “I’m not enough.”
Put your life on hold because you’re waiting to see what the other person will do?
Go along with your partner whims instead of expressing what you’d like?
Seek love, appreciation and approval from your partner instead of finding them within?
Rationalize your partner’s bad behavior even though it hurts you?
Manipulate or control your partner?
Let your partner’s words and actions determine your mood?
If “yes” or “sometimes” are your answers to any of the questions above, other people and external circumstances are determining your worth. Here’s the good news. Knowing where you stand is empowering. You can begin to improve your own worth.
How Can You Realize Your True Worth?
The most important person that matters is you. You are the one who determines your true self worth. I guarantee that you’ll find and know your true worth by putting these two practices into your life on a consistent basis.
Practice #1: Have high quality thoughts
Our thoughts and beliefs determine how we feel, which then determine our behaviors and actions. Replace low quality thoughts with high quality thoughts that you can believe in. For instance, if “I’m not good enough” is a habitual way of thinking for you, that thought leaves you feeling down about yourself. You’ll behave and act in ways that reflect this. This leads to attracting men who don’t treat you well. Every time “I’m not good enough” pops into your mind, replace it with “I’m good enough” or a positive thought that rings true for you.
Practice #2: Love yourself completely
We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. If you want to be treated with kindness, respect and love, treat yourself with kindness, respect and love. Kindness begets kindness, respect creates respect and love brings about love. If you tend to be hard on yourself, practice self love.
Know Your True Worth
You deserve a high quality partner and fulfilling love life. If having true and lasting love is important, take the journey to find your full worth. This is the only way to get to your desired destination. Know that true and lasting love is yours when you place a high value on yourself and think well of yourself. Be patient with yourself and those around you during this journey. And most importantly, know your true worth.
p.s. If you’re frustrated and tired about not being successful in love, get your free Monthly Guide to Love. You’ll receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that support your journey to love.
This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.