You're looking in the wrong place.
There are basically five ways you can meet men you want to date and possibly start a relationship with. Personally, I think these are the best ways on how to meet men:
Many people have found this way successful. However, the major challenges are that you can't tell if you have chemistry and compatibility is often an issue as people often live too far away. It's either a hit or miss but it does provide a big supply of dates for you to practice.
Most of my coaching clients use it and it does get you in the game. The most important thing is to be dating, and this will do it.
2. At work
There are some obvious drawbacks to dating someone you work with. It can get awkward at the office and it could even cost you your job.
Then, there are your clients. Again this could get awkward and this could cost you as well. In my experience, work is not a great idea, but it might work well for you.
3. Friends and family.
Being introduced is always a good way to meet someone. Having mutual friends in common helps you to open up and feel comfortable in conversation.
Family members can also bring in people you don't know and any introduction is a good introduction. This is a good way to meet people.
4. Professional matchmaker.
A Matchmaker can work but it's often expensive and, again, you still have the same problems regarding chemistry and compatibility. It's not impossible and it's worked for people. However, it's not one of my top choices.
5. Being out and about.
This is my favorite way to meet people. For this, you can use the tools in my book A Life of Love. The reason I like out and about is when you're out and about, you have 3 things that are necessary to meet someone.
Out and about means workshops, classes, events even the grocery store, any group setting. There are 3 reasons I like group settings:
- Unstructured time: When you go to an event, there are breaks. There's unstructured time before the meeting starts. There's unstructured time after the event. When people have unstructured time, they have time to talk. This is a very important first key.
- Common interest: When you go to an event that's something you're interested in. For example, I met my wife dancing salsa. Taking a dance class is another way you can meet someone with a similar interest, it creates a talking point and place to start that is very valuable.
- Friendly atmosphere: We tend to be friendlier in a group setting. We feel more comfortable in a social environment. It allows us to feel safe to talk to people that ordinarily we might not talk to. It can be difficult to talk to strangers, but when you see a person on a regular basis, it becomes easier to talk to them.
One of my favorite things to do is an event or activity that meets for a few weeks. You can start to get to know people and see them interact with others. In this way, you will start to feel comfortable.
Social settings allow us to become more attracted to people as we see them on a regular basis. Use this to your advantage, go to regular meetings, go to events, go to workshops and see people regularly. People are more comfortable in a social setting use it to your advantage.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love.
This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.