Are you ready for the secret? Three easy steps to get what you want in your relationship.
By Jaime Richards — Written on Aug 15, 2011
The title in this article may have elicited a gut level response from you. If you are a man, perhaps you bristled. If you're a woman, perhaps you thought that you don't need anything from a man, and then quickly clicked on the link. We all want a leg up in life, right? You may be surprised to learn just how easy it is to "get what you want". Here's the answer, in three easy steps:
1. ASK. It may surprise you to learn that men are not mind readers. Asking can not only land you what you want, but also help you to separate the great partners from the ones that are not for you. By nature, men are providers, but they're not privy to your inner-most desires. Make sure your requests are reasonable, and then pipe up! Don't ask for gifts or money. Do tell him if an event is important to you, or if you have your eye on a specific restaurant for dinner, then have the confidence to say "I would just LOVE to try the new mexican restaurant that opened up downtown with the big deck and the great views!" Win $550 Worth Of Luxury Goods From Henri Bendel!
Women constantly tell me how disappointed they are that a man did not treat them the way they wanted to be treated. Little did these women know, he probably would have happily jumped at the opportunity if he'd only known how she felt. Women often confuse chemistry with a guy guessing right about something. Give him a break and let him in on your wish list! Step one is all about being vulnerable, not demanding.
2. Receive with gratitude. If you're not willing to say "Thank you" and intensly enjoy whatever he's just given to you, even if it's a simple gesture like opening your door or pulling out your chair, than you've wasted your efforts! Born will be seeds of bitterness and a feeling like he's being taken advantage of. A great man doesn't keep score and expect exacting repayment for his good deeds, but he definately needs and deserves to feel appreciated. Start practicing by noticing every nice thing that people do for you, whether it's opening a door or letting you go first at a four way stop sign. Show your gratitude, by looking them in the eye, smiling and telling them how much you really appreciate them!
3. Dismiss men who ignore your requests. This sounds harsh and selfish, but don't confuse it with adopting a bitchy and dismissive attitude. Remember that if you're searching for someone to spend your life with, that you need to be selective. You must respect yourself throughout the process. This is different than being superficial and picky. Men want to know that you're selective, and that you've selected them. They operate differently than women. They're often attracted to a woman first, and learn to respect her later. Women usually need to respect a man before they can be deeply attracted to him. You must heed your values and your intuition, remaining consistent while you're dating. If you are making reasonable requests and staying authentic, then a man who ignores your requests is just not a good fit for you.
Make sure that you always remain kind, warm, genuine and respectful when asking for anything. You're goal is never to "get something" out of someone, but to make them aware of your true self and your interests. The women who are the most successful with this are the ones who are constantly talking about things that they love vs. what they don't like. A man who is dating her has an endless list of ways to please her, and there is nothing more satisfying to a good man, than a happy woman who's tirelessly grateful for him. If you need more help, contact me anytime, or visit my site to download a free dating guide!