ProConnect

What Guys Keep Missing in Online Dating

By

What Guys Keep Missing in Online Dating
Many men don't understand how learning to engage is what gets them dates. Read on.

When people think about the hardest part of online dating, they often point to the written profile. Oh man, it's hard to write about yourself, right? Funny thing is that while writing about yourself is a skill, it's not writing about yourself, per se, which is the point most men struggle with and stops them from getting dates.

They are simply bad at engagement.

The goal of every component of online dating is engagement.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways To Make This Valentines Day Your Last As A Single!

 

What is engagement?

Engagement is getting someone to interact with you. Think about it. I teach men all the time how to be better online daters to get more dates through my business, Expert Online Dating. One of my favorite things to teach them is to use purpose to guide your actions in online dating.

Your ultimate purpose in going on online dating is to meet someone, right? But before you meet someone, you have to interact with them…You have to have emails and possibly phone calls.

And how do you get to the email? Of one of the two people has to make the move on the other person and the other person has to respond. More often then not, that person making the first move is the man. That's not to say women can't make interaction happen. She can wink, or favorite a profile so that the man know's he has a green light to contact her. This is the online equivalent to a wink or a smile or holding eye contact in a bar or anywhere else IRL.

 

For a man, knowing that a woman WANTS to be pursued, is key. Think about it. She joined a dating site. If she's on Match.com, eHarmony or JDate, it means she's actually paying to find someone. I don't know about you but when I pay for something I am looking for some kind of return. Ever hear that where your money goes is where your heart is? Her heart is on love. Whoever she's meeting in the real world hasn't done it for her, so she's put her efforts into a profile online. She is seriously looking for someone.

As a man, you need to play to that. Unlike meeting someone nearly anywhere else organically… you know she is looking for a man. You need to be that man.

 

More from YourTango: Are Nice Girls Losing Out In The Online Dating Game?

Step One: Pursue her. Give her what she wants by going after her. Put it  in your mind that that is something you need to do.

Step Two: The most important part of learning engagement is knowing how to get a girl to interact with you.

There are several ways that men attempt to engage that don't work:

 

  • Looky loo: Just looking at her profile is going to get you close to nowhere. You might as well put a message in a bottle and cast it to sea looking for your love. She won't get it.  If you like her, you need to show it. Just looking at her makes you like like a creeper and a weirdo, especially if you continue to look and never act. Don't wait for her to look at your profile; if you like it, go after it. Other men do and you're in competition. 

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Gina Stewart

Dating Coach

Gina Stewart is the happy owner of ExpertOnlineDating.com, where she helps daters get more from their online dating experience and getting better dates. Chosen by DatingAdvice.com as one of the 10 Best Online Dating Experts, Expert Online Dating specializes in helping men and women maximize their online dating experiences with knockout profile writing, picture selection, messaging techniques and account management. All expertly crafted to get you out meeting better dates! www.ExpertOnlineDating.com

Location: LA/OC Califonia, CA
Credentials: BS
Specialties: Online Dating
Other Articles/News by Gina Stewart:

5 Ways To Make This Valentines Day Your Last As A Single!

By

When you're single, Valentine's Day and the weeks leading up to it are the worst. And all the while we know it's a corporate, shoved-down-our-throats, made-up holiday, the social pressure about it still exists and we would feel better if we had a date. Well, outside of a bandaid of a makeshift V-Date, make this Valentine's your personal ... Read more

Are Nice Girls Losing Out In The Online Dating Game?

By

A recent article highlighted that Bridget Jones’ Diary author Helen Fielding decided to do some research for her upcoming book, in which she set up two online dating profiles. One she describes as being a sexy vixen with the name "super lucky bitch," who writes in her profile that men would be "lucky to get a date" with her. The other ... Read more

Single & Looking? Join The Few.

By

We all heard lots of whining about the government shut down in the last couple of weeks. I think it's been universally accepted that that was a giant mess, but one of the residual effects was one I found fascinating. As an online dating expert can you possibly guess how I'm going to tie in something about the mess of a government shut down and online ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
divorce court

A Breakdown Of Trust: The Real Problems With The Divorce Corp

Here's what you need to know about the big business of divorce.

Sex: The Signs You Are Dating A Sex Addict

You Asked, He Answered: How Do I Tell If He's A Sex Addict?

You're dating an amazing man, but you're scared he's a sex addict. Here are some warning signs.

Gay Dating

What I Learned About Unconditional Love

Guess Who Is Coming to Easter Dinner, the story of a mother who missed her gay son's wedding.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS