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What does it mean to be a Sexy Couple?

By Esther Boykin. Posted on Nov 7th 2010.

Starting November 25, I will be hosting a Sexy Couples Challenge via my blog, Therapy Notes. It will be 30-days of fun, flirty, relationship-changing activities, but maybe you are wondering what it’s all about. One of our main goals is to help people redefine what it means to be a sexy couple. A quick Google search of “sexy couples” turns up lots of attractive celebrity pairs and even more x-rated sites; But is that what being a sexy couple is really about?? I don’t think so.

Everyone from interior designers to car makers use the word sexy to evoke more than our carnal desires. When we talk about things and people being sexy we are speaking to their attractiveness, their ability to exude a confidence and appeal that we either want to be part of or wish we had for ourselves.

It is something more than mere sexuality, it is enticing, exciting, interesting- an allure that goes beyond hot bodies or excessive groping and appeals to you on an emotional, intellectual, and physical level. That is the kind of sexiness we are talking about for couples. Yet far too often we reduce sexy down to the sex (usually lots of it). But anyone in a relationship knows that the equation for a truly sexy and passionate affair is far more complicated. Take a look:

sexy = commitment (because there’s nothing sexy about being unfaithful)

sexy= honesty (liars are not appealing)

sexy = compassion (indifference and cruelty are not attractive)

sexy = mutual respect (hurting or exploiting the person you love is never sexy)

sexy = partnership (teamwork is hot)

sexy = friendship (who better to appeal to you mind, body, and soul than a good friend?)

sexy = passion (we aren’t trying to take the “sex” out of “sexy” it’s still important!)

sexy = affection (physical connection needs to happen in and out of the bedroom)

sexy = compromise (great sex and great relationships make both people happy)

sexy = … you tell me!

What else does it take to be a Sexy Couple? Tell me what you think and your ideas might be featured in my 30-day Sexy Couple Challenge! Find out more about the Sexy Couple Challenge at http://grouptherapyassociates.org/blog/coupleschallenge/

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Esther Boykin

Counselor/Therapist

Esther Boykin, LMFT
Group Therapy Associates
703-644-8041 office phone/fax

www.grouptherapyassociates.org http://blog.grouptherapyassociates.org
follow me on Twitter @estherbMFT

Location: Haymarket, VA

Credentials: LMFT

Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues

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