How do you drop bomb of sudden, unexpected and quite possibly undesirable information on someone you care about without behaving like a cruel, dispassionate ogre? What if you're the unfortunate recipient of the aforementioned bomb? How do you respond with compassion instead of setting off a furious chain reaction? The 20 "Golden Rules" Of Using Technology In A Relationship
To answer incendiary questions like these takes a powerful team: Dr. Romance has teamed up with the amazing copywriter & blogger Alex Franzen to answer these questions.
Last May, a stranger named Alex tweeted me to say,"Congratulations on 30 years of partnership & loooove, @tinatessina! You're a marvel, a maven, & a romance inspiration." And I responded with, "I love that you said this, Alex! Let's be friends. I've just discovered you, but I love your amazing creativity and upbeat attitude. Want to write something together?”
Our musings & advice on what to do if you're the Bomb Receiver is on her blog. But what if you're the one dropping the bomb? So here is how we handle the other side:
1. Be a human being. Think about how your big news is going to affect your partner, before you drop the bomb. Anticipate their fears & insecurities and respect their need to cool off, before responding. Most importantly, be honest about whether or not your decision is fair because it might be selfish, unilateral and not open to exploration. You should own the unfairness and the consequences.
2. Know why your making this decision. Do you know why you've made the decision you've made? Are you prepared to answer a lot of questions about it? By dropping a bomb, you need to put yourself in educator mode and have your talking points ready. If you haven't examined your motives and reasoning yet, then you're not ready to start dropping bombs. So get self-aware, first and then you can make your declaration.
More couples advice from YourTango:
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