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3 Rules For 'Dropping A Bomb' On Your Significant Other

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3 Rules For 'Dropping A Bomb' On Your Significant Other [EXPERT]
Got big news?
Do you have something important to say?

How do you drop bomb of sudden, unexpected and quite possibly undesirable information on someone you care about without behaving like a cruel, dispassionate ogre? What if you're the unfortunate recipient of the aforementioned bomb? How do you respond with compassion instead of setting off a furious chain reaction? 20 Relationships And Technology Dos And Don'ts

To answer incendiary questions like these takes a powerful team: Dr. Romance has teamed up with the amazing copywriter & blogger Alex Franzen to answer these questions.

More from YourTango: Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Last May, a stranger named Alex tweeted me to say,"Congratulations on 30 years of partnership & loooove, @tinatessina! You're a marvel, a maven, & a romance inspiration." And I responded with, "I love that you said this, Alex! Let's be friends. I've just discovered you, but I love your amazing creativity and upbeat attitude. Want to write something together?”

Our musings & advice on what to do if you're the Bomb Receiver is on her blog. But what if you're the one dropping the bomb? So here is how we handle the other side:

1. Be a human being. Think about how your big news is going to affect your partner, before you drop the bomb. Anticipate their fears & insecurities and respect their need to cool off, before responding. Most importantly, be honest about whether or not your decision is fair because it might be selfish, unilateral and not open to exploration. You should own the unfairness and the consequences.

More from YourTango: Dear Dr. Romance: What Should A Twentysomething Grad Student Do?

2. Know why your making this decision. Do you know why you've made the decision you've made? Are you prepared to answer a lot of  questions about it? By dropping a bomb, you need to put yourself in educator mode and have your talking points ready. If you haven't examined your motives and reasoning yet, then you're not ready to start dropping bombs. So get self-aware, first and then you can make your declaration.

More couples advice from YourTango:

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

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