With the Fourth of July coming up, coping with the holidays becomes a critical issue for those of us who are recently divorced. This particular holiday may not even have been a big deal in your married days, but spending a "family" holiday without the family you've been accustomed to having can be a wakeup call. Just knowing that even as people are gathered in backyards around the country, sweating in the summer heat, grilling fatty hotdogs and bland burgers, and inhaling enough cholesterol to choke a horse — they are nonetheless, with their families. But I'm here to tell you that you will survive this, like so many other post-divorce insults. Here's how:
1. Make a plan. I'm all about getting out of the house, but if you'd rather not, that's fine — as long as you decide how you want to handle the holiday and how you're going to feel about your decision. After my divorce I started a tradition of running in a local 10K. Full disclosure: I had never run in a race before in my life. When my son was with me, he ran too. Independence Day wasn't a big holiday for me before, but it turned out to be a great, new tradition.
2. Ask for help. Talk to friends and family. Ask if they have any ideas or if you can join their celebration. All they can do is say no, but most people prefer not to upset the divorced person when possible. It's fine to capitalize on that. Keep reading...
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