My Valentine's Day musings led me to consider my true loves. Since I am the post-divorce queen, I thought a lot about what my sisters and brothers are going through post-divorce. I worried about all those in the land of the single, wondering when their next Valentine would arrive.
I realized that I have only one true love that has never forsaken me.
These are some of the things I noticed about my true love:
- We were friends first.
- I explored my doubts and didn't rush things.
- When I was ready, I totally committed and put all my eggs in one basket.
- I am not jealous in this relationship.
- I always feel I can be authentic.
- Sometimes I have doubts, but I am always drawn back to this love.
I noted my true love...
- has never tried to make me into something I am not.
- supports my desire for change and growth.
- doesn't get jealous.
- is always fascinating.
- allows me to pursue my other passions.
- helps me meet interesting people.
This is the story of how I met my true love. It was my third psychology class. The first two were bombs, but there was something that kept drawing me back. It finally clicked in that third class. I knew I found my passion. I wasn't sure exactly how it would all play out, so there was a friendship to begin with, while I explored the possibilities.
It didn't take me long to settle on clinical psychology. I made the commitment and worked for my degree. I met lots of cool people along the way and some true friends. Once I started working, there were choices. Clinical work floated to the top over teaching and research. I didn't know it at the time, but it played to my strengths more than the other possibilities.
My true love allows for a lot of variety. I had a chance to do some teaching and mentoring along the way. At one time or another, I worked with kids, adolescents and adults. There was hospital, day treatment and outpatient work. I consulted with schools.
When I decided to work toward my life coaching certification, my true love supported me, unthreatened by that change in direction. I met lots more cool people and some more true friends.
My true love always supports my other interests, which include fairly time-intensive activities, like running, yoga and writing. My love does not complain when I work long hours, spend time taking care of my parents, visit my son or go out with friends.
In a recent interview, I was asked what advice I'd give to young women today. I said:
"Take the time to figure out what your passions and dreams are, and then make them happen. Don't worry about finding a partner, your biological clock or any of that nonsense. All of that will come to you. The most important thing to figure out is what kind of work you will love and be proud of."
That's the way I found my true love. My Valentine's wish is that you will do the same.
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