to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Is Your Man Someone You Can Trust?

By . Posted on .

Is Your Man Someone You Can Trust?
What do you really know about this guy?

All too often in life, people fall in love blindly. They refuse to make note of how the actions of another person define them. They pay too much attention to words and way too little to actions.

Here is an undeniable truth about people: Actions speak louder than words! We know, you've heard this all before! But the truth is, you can, and must, judge a man by his actions and not by his words!

More from YourTango: 12 Financial Signs You're Engaged To A Loser

Words are cheap. Actions mean everything! The truth is always there for all to see when you observe the way people act and respond, rarely by what they say. Good men practice what they preach. Here's why.

In response to the question, "Is he someone you can trust?" you must always remember this: You can tell a lot about a man by his actions. How does he respond to you? How does he treat you? How does he treat your family, your children, his friends, his dog and all of the people he interacts with? How does he treat the janitor, the person who cuts the grass, the clerk at the gas station or the waitress?

Real men say what they mean and act the same way. They don't say one thing and then do the opposite. Real men — good, decent men — will always demonstrate who they are by their consistent actions. To know the real truth about a man, pay close and careful attention to him over a period of several weeks and then ask yourself this question: Is he really what he appears to be? Consistent actions on his part will tell you what you need to know, for good or for bad.

Lately, we have been working with a couple who have been married for nearly 15 years and are calling it quits. She told us that it was time to get out of the relationship — time to "fish or cut bait." For nearly 15 years, her husband had mentally abused her and their children, while all the time boasting about how much he loved them. Actions speak louder than words!

More from YourTango: 5 Tips To Jerk Your Marriage Out Of A Negative Rut

The truth is, you cannot really love your children when you constantly berate them. You can't truly love anyone that you put down, yell at or constantly point out their failings and their frailties. We all make mistakes. We all do dumb things from time to time. And the truth is, we more often than not recover from the shortcomings we have. Honest, one-time mistakes are forgivable. On the other hand, repeated actions reveal who a person really is, for good or for bad. Keep reading ...

More relationship advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz

Author

Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts
**For marriage advice and hundreds of practical tips, read the Doctors' latest best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts (Jossey-Bass/Wiley). Available wherever books are sold. Learn more about America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: EdD, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Marriage, Nutrition, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz:

12 Financial Signs You're Engaged To A Loser

By

Balancing the family budget requires teamwork and setting common goals. People who are in love support each other through thick and thin—through good and bad financial times. Before you decide that he's the right guy to marry, you need to take a serious look at how he views financial goals, choices and commitments. Since the number one cause of ... Read more

5 Tips To Jerk Your Marriage Out Of A Negative Rut

By

With our fast paced society and the extreme demands hitting us from every side, more and more couples find negativity taking over their marriage. An abrupt injection of positivity into your relationship is the only way to change the environment before it is too late. From over 30 years of research in 48 countries with thousands of happily married couples, ... Read more

How To Kill Communication In A Marriage

By

Negative and hurtful statements can have the power to cut through the very fabric of the bond between two people in love. Words can damage and potentially destroy the foundation of your relationship. Make no mistake about it, words matter. While we have learned many lessons over the past 30 years from the thousands of happily married couples we have ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Solution

When Love Goes Wrong – Really Wrong Domestic Violence, Jodi Arias

Obsession with notorious murderer Jodi Arias has led followers astray...what can we learn from this?

deep breath

Does a woman need a room of her own?

A woman requires a sweet spot hideout to release her inner core, the most erogenous zone of all.

Surf

Getting Physical: 5 Date Night Ideas For Athletic Couples

5 Date Night Ideas For Athletic Couples. Love getting physical…I mean doing physical activities.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS