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Divorced & Dating: 3 Tips For Your Fresh Start


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Cheers to you!
Are you ready to start dating again?

If you're wondering when is the right time to tell someone that you're divorced, you should probably be asking yourself "Should I be dating?" instead. Questioning whether to tell the person you're seeing that you're divorced is a sign. It means you have not yet regained your self-confidence, and you may not be ready to start dating again.

We understand that the desire for intimacy can be powerful, and intimacy is one of the first things to go in a marriage that ends. By the time separation occurs, it's been years since any meaningful, intimate contact has occurred between husband and wife, leaving you with a large emotional gap yearning to be filled. But the need to heal and grow should also be a top priority.

More from YourTango: 6 Reasons Love Is Better After 50

At the same time, it is not always necessary to heal and grow before you start dating. This brings me back to the question "Should I be dating?" Dating can be more than just trying to find a partner. While you're in this healing and growing phase, change the purpose of your dating. Just like a golfer practices his swing, you can use dating to practice healing and growth.

1. Be honest. Be upfront with your lady friend, letting her know your expectations of the relationship. If you're not interested in a committed relationship, let her know upfront.

2. Experiment. For instance, if you need to practice setting boundaries, use dating to practice setting boundaries like creating specific time limits for any dates, regardless of how well the date is going.

3. Be smart. Change your paradigm about dating from trying to find a partner to just meeting someone and having a great conversation. Make it intentional not to have more than two or three dates with one person. You'll soon learn that you can create great conversations with anyone.

More from YourTango: Leave Your Partner When Your Bank Account is Empty

Once you've mastered the "Should I be dating?" question, you'll be able to answer the original question yourself. When should you tell someone you're divorced? Within the first few dates. Why? You're healed — you have found that by dating several women, you have the ability to create a great relationship with anyone you choose. Armed with this newfound confidence, you'll realize that divorce is actually an asset that has made you a better person.

More divorce advice from YourTango:

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