More often than not, dating is a thing we have to navigate on our own. Friends, family (psst, even mothers) can warn us about the same guy and we'll still go back until we're ready to leave.
However, if you're anything like the rest of us it takes your mother saying something to you several times and a stranger saying it once before you truly have that "aha" moment. So, here are 25 pieces of motherly advice that your mom would definitely dish out (if you'd only listen) from a mother-like figure (someone you'd rather allow to be right).
You can think of me as your Fairy God Mother — making all your dating woes a bit easier, one at a time.
And, as for my fellow mothers: you're welcome!
1. Be yourself. This is the most important piece of advice when you are single and dating. If you can't be yourself, then who can you be?
2. Never write down anything you don't want someone to read. I actually encourage this kind of writing, but if you really don't want anyone else to read it, keep it hidden, or get out the Zippo.
3. You can be anything you want to be ... unless, of course, you want to be inauthentic. Inauthentic is the worst thing you can be when you're single (or a human).
4. Pretty is as pretty does. If you're feeling like the wicked witch on the inside, your date will see it on the outside, no matter how beautiful you are.
5. Make the best of it. A smelly or boring date is another chance for you to get clear on what you don't want.
6. Never learn to clean a fish or you'll be doing it for the rest of your life. Slow down your walk, because if he doesn't open the door for you the first time, he probably never will.
7. Don't believe everything you hear. If he tells you he's slept with every other woman on the first date, don't believe him.
8. Never go out in dirty underwear. Need I say more?
9. When you're in a relationship, keep your friends. You don't want a man to become your whole world, just a nice, tasty piece of it.
10. Never lose your self-respect. If he texts you at 3 a.m. to "hang out," that is a set up for you to earn the booty-call title.
11. It's better to be alone than to wish you were. There's no need to settle for a guy who is a great kisser but is lazy and wants you to be his mommy.
12. Small minds talk about small things. OMG! Can you believe that Sally slept with Jamel after the first date? Stay away from this kind of topic.
13. Learn something new every day. Read an article about the way men think here. It will do you worlds of good.
14. You don't have to have the last word. Or the last text. If he doesn't ask you a direct question, you don't need a response to a response. Please ladies, leave a little mystery.
15. Turn off the lights. Light a candle. Not only will you save on your electricity bill, but the shadows will do you both wonders.
16. It's easier to catch a bear with honey than with vinegar. You don't need to be too sweet — like Stevia. As sweet as honey will do just fine.
17. A bit of booze will make you feel better. A bit of booze might take the edge off, but a lot of booze will make the toilet your new best friend.
18. If it's not important, don't say it. When you talk less, it means so much more when you do say something.
19. You can be pretty and smart. Kudos to this one. You can be pretty, but don't let the smarts with your date become a competition.
20. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Or all your dates in one basket, until you're talking about the honeymoon in Jamaica.
21. Babies will be babies, just take it one minute at a time. Or boys will be boys. Just stay in the present moment.
22. Keep is simple. This means hair, make-up, and your brain. Don't overanalyze every little detail of your date.
23. Don't be so dramatic. Keep the why-didn't-you-call-me-back-sooner-it's-been-27-whole-minutes on your television and out of your life.
24. Find humor in everything. If you trip on your way into the coffee shop, bring attention to it and have a good laugh about it.
25. Follow your heart. If you trust your heart instead of your brain you will be more emotionally available and vulnerable. This is a great path to follow. The path of love is much more fun than the path of ego.
These wise words are for women from women. Celebrate being a woman on Mother's Day, even if you're not a mother, and check out Dina Colada.