Finding someone to kiss on New Year's eve

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Finding someone to kiss on New Year's eve

The holidays bring a lot of pressure to the single person. Finding a date for the office party, nosey aunts asking when you are going to settle down, the emotional triggers returning from old childhood wounds at the family dinner table, no wonder you just want to find something to make you feel better this time of year. The kiss at midnight becomes a symbol of somehow being back on top, in control of your life and lovable. I was using those random nameless guys to build myself up and the moment never really matched my romantic expectations.

Even if you aren’t a kissing bandit like me, what solace do you seek during the holidays to make you feel better? What lies do you tell yourself about this time of year that brings you anxiety? All of the suffering you experience comes from within your mind. Sure, it is natural for us to want to be connected with others and loved, but the mind can exaggerate the situation and make up images of a dreaded future of you being old and alone forever.

 

Instead of seeking someone random to kiss to cover up the pain, you can face the demons of your mind head on and stop believing the lies. First, start by being grateful for what you already have in your life (instead of what you don’t have yet). Then, realize that the book of your romantic life isn’t ending if you don’t have a date this new year’s eve but that it is just another passing chapter.

The next chapter can be written as you desire. To avoid a repeat year of heartache, start to focus forward instead of looking back and refrain from seeing your situation as unchanging. You are always changing and growing anyway, so don’t resist and allow new love to flow in to your experience. The only thing that holds you back is your own mind telling you that things aren’t going to get better. What you believe becomes your reality, so what do you want to believe?

There is nothing wrong with being a kissing bandit on New Year’s eve or feeling down about being alone. It was my strong desire to find true love that led me on my own personal journey and ultimately the work I do today. I never gave up on the vision of meeting him, even though I had serious doubts along the way. This unsettled feeling actually serves you because your divine self wants you to have love, like an inner nudge that won’t cease. If you didn’t feel uncomfortable, you wouldn’t take risks or continue to search for the path to your ideal partner.

You may not be able to predict when your true love will arrive, but you do have a choice as to how you feel in the meantime. You can listen to the cranky doubter or you can listen to that inner cheerleader that tells you that true love is on the way. The doubter will give you what you have always got and settle for a random new year’s kiss, but the cheerleader will open doors to your romantic dreams fulfilled.

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Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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