Why Men Still Need Diapers

Love, Self

Men are just giant babies without the messy bits.

Women really over estimate who we are.

Let me explain.

The other day I saw this woman.

She grabbed her kid and she said, “God, I miss you so much and I love you!” and just kept kissing the kid. I noticed that she had no ring on her finger.

So I started talking to her and I said, “You know, that is so beautiful the way you are with your kid.”

“Thank you.”

Single mom?”

“Yes.”

“Let me tell you: the next man you meet, to greet him like that every single time, and tell him you missed him and give him a big kiss and treat him just like he’s two, and you’ll keep a man forever and forever.”

“Nooo, it can’t be that easy.”

“It is. That’s all we want.”

Ladies, the way you treat a child is the way you should treat us, because really we are just big children. We’re actually better than big children.

We don’t make doo doo in our underwear.

We breast feed, but we only do it for your pleasure.

We’re very loyal at times.

When we throw a temper tantrum, it’s pretty easy to calm us down. A little bit of head rubbing and we’re right as rain.

And we’ll buy you nice gifts and we won’t throw up all over your nice clothes.

Really we’re just giant children, so stop making us into something more that we are. We don’t mind being children, we actually like it. We enjoy being giant children.

So treat us that way.

And now you know how to treat a man.

That simple.

This article was originally published at David Wygant for Women . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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