Listen up: If you're going nowhere fast, you need to know when to end it.
It's frustrating to meet someone, and everything seems perfect … only to meet with a snag along the way.
Fortunately for you, there are clear signs you can look out for to know when it's time to breakup.
1. He tells you he isn't ready for a relationship.
Plain and simple. If he tells you he isn’t ready for a relationship, he is not challenging you to change his mind. Really, he isn’t. Maybe he’ll be ready for a relationship someday. Just not today.
It’s not your job to wait around for him and it certainly isn’t your job to prove to him that the two of you would be great together
It doesn’t matter how strong you feel or how much potential you think is there, continuing to pursue something that he himself doesn’t want and isn’t ready for is an exercise in futility.
2. He's in a relationship with someone else.
If you’re seeing a guy who is still in a relationship with another woman, you should probably write him off. Until he actually leaves his girlfriend or wife and has the proper amount of time to emotionally get over the breakup, he isn’t ready for a new relationship with you.
He's using you and stringing you along. Maybe he actually has no intention of ever leaving his current relationship. Maybe he does, but he’s just an indecisive person.
If he isn’t into you enough to give you a hard yes, then it’s not worth sticking around and giving him an indefinite amount of time to make up his mind. Cut your losses and move on.
3. He's an addict.
It's challenging to go through addiction and withdrawal. Although you want to support him in his challenge, know that he is simply not emotionally available to have a relationship with you.
Simply put his energy is on his addiction, and there isn’t any room left over for you and having a great relationship with you. Maybe he’ll conquer his demons some day, but it’s not your job to wait around for him to do it.
4. His actions don't match his words.
If he gives you a good talk about how he’d like to commit to you or how he wants to settle down with you someday, but he doesn’t actually take action to make it happen, it’s best to cut your losses and move on.
Sure, life can get in the way of the best plans sometimes. But if you look back on all your time together and see nothing but a trail of broken promises in the wake of all his good talk, then you need to realize that the relationship isn’t going anywhere.
And if he is only lukewarm about committing to you, then it’s time to leave.
5. You wish he'd just change a little bit.
If you like a guy a lot, but you just wish he’d change a little bit, then you should move on and give up on that relationship. You should not and never expect that you can change a man or that he will change for you.
Do people change? Yes, absolutely! But should you expect them to change for you or for a relationship? No way. Real change comes from a core desire to change for yourself. It doesn’t come from you meddling and hoping that he’ll change. You have to either accept him as the man that he is now, or move on.
The quicker you’re willing to move on from unfulfilling relationships, the more space you’ll have in your life for the kind of relationship you really want. So, if you want a great relationship, you need to know when you’re wasting your time in a bad situation and cut your losses.