Feel like you're unlucky in love … and life?
You'd think since I married an Irishman that I'd have the "luck of the Irish" rubbing off on me. These last few years, however, seem more like, "If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all." Do you know the feeling?
Do you believe bad luck follows you around? Does it seem that good luck follows everyone else around and skips you? Well, it’s true. And there is a good reason why you're not lucky ...
Because you believe you're not.
The concept of luck suggests that there is something or someone else responsible for your life, but there isn't. Sure, there may be circumstances you had no control over (acts of god, decisions of others) but only you get to decide how those events affect you.
Here are a couple of examples you might relate to:
- Do you believe that because your partner cheated on you that you're not lucky in love?
- If your company laid off 10 percent of the workforce and your position was eliminated, do you feel that you got the short end of the stick?
Whether it's a large life event like these or something small, such as the cute guy at the bar asked out your best friend, not being chosen for a special assignment at work or losing your cell phone, you get to choose how you think about it. I promise you: If you'll look at it from a positive perspective, your stress level will drop immediately and any “recovery period” will be shorter.
It really is all about the spin you put on it. You may not like where you are at the moment but it doesn't mean you're going to be there forever. By turning it into an experience that lifts you up you're able to get back to enjoying your life quicker.
The examples above would sound more like this with a positive spin:
- My partner cheated on me I don't trust him. That is a reflection on him. I do not accept his disrespect and am committed to honoring myself in future relationships.
- My company downsized and my position was eliminated. I will use this opportunity to find another position that will utilize my skills and experience and provide me with the security/job satisfaction/salary I want.
Notice that the stories are the same and only the perspective has changed. Could you even begin to feel lucky that you discovered your partner’s infidelity sooner rather than later? That subtle shift feels better, doesn't it? If you agree, but you still feel crappy about it then take one more look at what's really causing you pain.
Your husband's infidelity happened. Of course you're not going to tolerate it and you're angry. But every time you relieve your feelings of anger and betrayal you're making a choice to do so. His actions are over. Yours are continuing. When you look at it with this perspective, it takes "luck" right out the window. It's your choice. If, instead, you choose to honor yourself and commit to living your life with the respect and love you deserve you feel your power!
It all comes down to choices — not luck. What makes you feel better? Choose that!
What choice have you made in your life that made you feel powerful? Comment below.
Cheryl provides transformational coaching services for transitional life experiences. Learn more here: http://simplestepsrealchange.com/coaching/
Simple Steps Real Change Magazine provides practical advice for real life from relatable inspirational leaders. Check it out here: http://simplestepsrealchangemagazine.com/
More on how to be happy from YourTango:
- How To Be Happy With Yourself: 5 Must-Read Tips
- Happiness Happens: 20 Tips To Increase Your Happiness
- How To Deal With Depression After Divorce: 5 Actionable Tips