Another year has come and gone and you're still single. What gives? Maybe the sea dried up and there are no fish left swimming... or maybe you need to refresh your dating technique to snag a guy. Read on to learn thirteen ways you can upgrade your dating game in 2014. There's no time like the present to hone your skills!
1. Stop Oversharing On The First Date
I remember during the end of one first date, he exclaimed how much fun he was having, and shared that on his last date, the woman revealed she was a rape victim before they had even ordered. That was inappropriate on her part (although she's probably trying to work through and heal from the situation). It was even more inappropriate for him to tell this story — especially in the form of an anecdote.
2. Lying About Little Things
You shouldn't lie about big things, such as marital status either, but little white lies suck, too. I've come across so many guys who lie about their height, where they live or even their position at work. Women lie, too. Ladies — he will eventually find out that isn't your real hair. Is it worth the fib?
3. Dominating The Conversation
A conversation requires a minimum of two partners. At the end of every conversation, you both should feel as if you've said all that you needed to say and you've learned the information that you were seeking. A great trick is to ask a question right in the middle of a story that you're telling. If you're telling him about your cross-country road trip, don't just ask if he's ever been on one. Ask if he's ever wanted to go on one and why. Allow him to answer and then proceed.
Your phone should remain in your bag or pocket. If you're expecting a call or message, go to the bathroom to check it.
5. Drunk Dating
Dates aren't the best places to get drunk, even if they're really bad. Have you ever been on a second date with someone who got drunk on the first one? Exactly.
6. Not Dressing For The Occasion
Would you go to a funeral in hot Pink? Would you go swimming in sweats? Then why the heck would you go on a hiking date in heels or to dinner in cut-offs? Now, if the person didn't tell you what occasion to dress for, it's their bad — and a habit they need to work on.
7. Stop Petting The Awkward Turtle
The Awkward Turtle is the animal mascot of the awkward moment. I love this little homeboy, but leave him at home. To avoid bringing him out don't ask questions about their ex, and definitely don't ask the dreaded question, "Why are you single?".
8. EX-plaining way too much
I'm not talking about providing more details about a certain topic. I'm referring to the terrible habit of bringing up your ex during every conversation. Not only on a date but with friends, co-workers, nail technicians, baristas and oh yeah — your blog.
9. First Date Sleep Overs
In New York, we hop into beds as easily as we do cabs. We really need to make a change in 2014. I'm going on 50 first dates, before the end of February and I'm definitely following my own advice.
10. Hating On Yourself
It's great that you don't spend the entire date humble bragging or showing off Instagram photos with celebs. But don't talk how much you think you suck at so-and-so... because eventually they might agree with you.
11. Instagramming Your Food
This goes back to texting, but some people will break out the phone for the house special so I felt I had to include it. This takes away from the moment. If you're excited about your flower-shaped polenta, share it with your date instead of your followers.
12. Going Back To The Future
You should look fly, but you're not Marty Mcfly so I'm going to need you to remain in the present. Don't talk about the fact you want a surrogate to maintain your figure or you want your mom to live with you guys. Keep it current. Keep it casual!
13. Actin' Brand New
Be yourself and don't try to be who you think they'd want to date. You might miss out on a great person because they may actually want to date the real you.
Want more? Watch me put these rules in action on my new show 50 States of Dating, which premieres this Valentine's Day!
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