Valentines Day, A Treat Or A Treatment?

By

Valentines Day, A Treat Or A Treatment?
The importance of Valentine's Day

Nancy was already feeling in the dumps and it was only the middle of January. Fancy Valentine boxes of chocolates appearing in the local drug store made her feel worse. Valentine cards, ideas for gifts and romantic evenings seemed to be everywhere. Nancy, 28 and single, felt assaulted by the media and even the other gals in the office who were comfortably in relationships and busily planning for February 14th. And to make matters even worse, her boyfriend of the last 3 years had just married. She could only imagine how much fun he would be having in a few weeks. Nancy was truly miserable.

 

Jacky was happily married for five years, except for one thing. Steve never seemed to get the importance of Valentine's Day. Every year she tried to give him hints. She left magazines open to articles like how to have a romantic Valentine's Day surprise for your sweetheart. She made sure she created a fantastic meal for the 14th and set the atmosphere for when Steve came home from work. The house was decorated with cherubs and Valentine's. The candles were set on the table. The soft music played in the background. And each year she had experienced about the same results. Steve came home tired, seemed surprised at all the fuss, gave her a kiss on the cheek, a Valentine card that displayed more of an effort to not waste money than to be romantic, put on the news and basically ignored her as soon as he finished dessert. And to top it off, Steve couldn't fathom why Jacky was unhappy with him.

Natalie* has been struggling with romantic and exaggerated memories about a lover from her past. Compared to her husband David, who she sees everyday, and who isn't always on his toes romantically (being a slightly remote college professor) Jack looks fabulous in her mind's eye. Even Jack's negative personality traits have faded. Memories of his love-making skills haven't. This Valentine's Day may be a day of nostalgic daydreaming of long lost lovemaking instead of throwing herself into her basically sound and loving marriage.

All of these women suffer conditions that often plague women on February 14th. What should be a pleasant day of love and affection has turned for many into a day of dread and despair . Let's look at the psychological factors that play into this unhealthy situation:

Nancy's situation is very typical of women who don't currently have a significant other. Our society is a couple's society and when we are alone the media, family and friends make that blatantly clear. Most of us want someone to love and I'm not here to change that. But as a positive psychologist I am going to make a healthy suggestion:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Barbara Becker Holstein

Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach

Credentials: EdD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Life Transitions, Parenting, Child Development, Girls, Tweens and Teens

Website: Barbara Becker Holstein's website

Telephone: 732-571-1200  e-mail: drbarbara@enchantedself.com

Websites: Enchanted Self,  TheTruthforgirls next-year-in-jerusalem,  authorsspeaking positivepsychologyforwomen

Latest Books: The Truth, Diary of A Gutsy Tween; Around Every Corner, Romance & Mystery...(On Kindle), Secrets: You Tell Me Yours And I'll Tell You Mine...Maybe, Next Year In Jerusalem, Parts 1 And 2, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy

You Tube: Enchanted Self, The Truth for Girls, Next Year in Jerusalem

Find me on Twitter: @TRUTH4GIRLS, and @DRBHOLSTEIN

Find me on Pinterest: DR. BARBARA

Sign up for my webinar on Women and Fantasy

Location: Long Branch, NJ
Credentials: EdD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Life Transitions
Other Articles/News by Barbara Becker Holstein:

We All Need A Dose Of Inspiration

By

We all need a sense of wonder and mystery in our lives. Sometimes a fast paced adventure movie or a good mystery read will satisfy that urge inside of ourselves. But sometimes we need to reach into the past and see that all through the centuries people have reported strange phenomenon, and of course, even miracles. Even dire predictions have not always come ... Read more

Listen Up, Parents! How To Survive Your Kid's First Crush [VIDEO]

By

It's safe to say that we've all been there. Even though it may have been a long time ago, those days we spent on the playground, trying to get our crush to notice us still feel so fresh to us. Not going to lie; we totally had it bad. We can't be the only ones who remember being excited whenever our crush would look our way, or just how down ... Read more

Life Is A Highway... Here's How To Enjoy The Ride

By

Life is the greatest roller coaster ride we will ever take. The ups and downs, the unexpected changes, the twists and turns, are all a part of living. The roller coaster ride of life can be miserable and uncomfortable or exciting and rewarding. Our states of mind and body are key factors in how we handle these changes. The problems of life do not go away ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular