Anne Stirling Hastings - Psychologist, Dating Coach, Divorce Coach, Divorce Recovery Coach, Life Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage/Couples Counselor, Relationship Coach, Sex Coach, Sex Educator, Sex Therapist, Speaker/Presenter, YourTango Expert Partner - Camarillo, CA
Advanced Member

Anne Stirling Hastings (PhD)


I hope you are enjoying my TRANSFORMATIONAL FICTION, the stories about characters' sex lives, and how they heal. Everything in these chapters actually happened with my psychotherapy clients, and I wove it into stories to make it more real and meaningful than a self-help book. I would love to hear from you if you are helped by what you read. Even if you are just entertained! Come to for healing short stories for free, and healing novels for sale. Kindle carries Dirty Sex or Clean Sex for only $2.99, or lends it out for free. It's companion, Bring Love and Sex Together, The Value of Healing Sexual Shame, is on Kindle, too. 

I teach continuing education classes on Helping Clients With Sexual Issues, too. 

Sex is the least talked about component of being human, and it leaves people confused. It is hard to ask friends for help or to ask questions. You may feel alone and isolated when you really need to talk and be understood. There are so many sexual quirks you may have yourself, or your partner seems to have, that you don’t understand. You may feel badly about yourself, your body, or your performance and not be able to discuss it. You may have seen a therapist who couldn’t talk about it either. Most cannot. My clients feel great relief when they are finally able to say it all, and be heard. They get to talk with someone who won’t be shocked or feel embarrassed – who can feel compassion.

Sexual healing is truly possible. My short stories are about people with sexual issues, and you can walk with them as they come to understand what to do about it. The stories inform you in a straightforward way about common issues. You can read about actual sexual activity in every chapter. This isn’t designed to arouse you, although it might. You are taken into a therapist’s office where they talk about it, and you get to be the fly on the wall in the characters’ bedrooms.

I healed my own sexuality long ago, which led me to specialize in helping others truly heal this aspect of being human. Then I wrote about it in ways that I hadn’t read – and still read little of. If you want a self-help book on sexual healing, please read mine. Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised. It has been helpful for people who just didn’t understand what was going wrong. Men thought they needed more sex when really they needed love, and women thought they had to say “yes” when they wanted to say “no.” Or they said “no” and then feared the consequences. My book addresses solutions to this and lots of other issues. It’s possible to have much more intimacy even without more sex. And sometimes more sex appears too!

As I saw how sexual shame interfered with a couple developing the best sex life, and the best marriage, I wrote Healing Humanity: Life Without Shame. It addresses all kinds of shame. Our feelings of badness and negativity and inadequacy are about far more than sexuality. Our very culture includes shaming each other as normal, which I describe in detail. Then I lay out how to heal from it. First is seeing it going on all around us, integrated into sexuality, and being directed at everyone. Once we can see, then we have a chance to stop taking it in. Then, the best reward of all, we get to experience more love. is filled with free blogs, podcasts and videos to get you started. Get FREE short stories. You can purchase whole novels. And we will hold Gatherings so you can meet others. Come join us.

Come read real sexual experiences. Then if you want more help, call me!  

The Reason I Became A Helping Professional

My psychological practice and writing are wonderfully supportive of my own life as they allow me to be in contact with lots of people who want to heal, too. Being with people doing the work of healing is gratifying. We are all working on discovering what we are feeling, what those emotions mean, and how to best use them. This makes us real, genuine, and congruent - the basis of humanity. I have taken on my own shame healing and recovering from childhood trauma. This is how I have best learned how to do it. And now I have developed TRANSFORMATIONAL FICTION in order to communicate in more powerful ways. Or go to Kindle for most of my books, including Bring Love and Sex Together, The Value of Healing Sexual Shame

Anne Stirling Hastings

Additional Details

Anne Stirling Hastings

Payment Options

Accepts Credit Cards:


Accepts Insurance:


Accepts Paypal:


Sliding Scale:


Fee Range:

Over $120 per session

Anne Stirling Hastings

Quick Stats



Time in Practice:

25 years +

I practice in:

All areas, please inquire

Additional Expertise:

Dating Coach

Divorce Coach

Divorce Recovery Coach

Life Coach

Marriage and Family Therapist

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Relationship Coach

Sex Coach

Sex Educator

Sex Therapist


YourTango Expert Partner

I offer my services:

At my office


Via Skype

Other, please inquire

I am fluent in:


Licence information:

Expiration 3/30/16
Number psy21365

Articles by Anne Stirling Hastings

Healing Avoidant Attachment Style of Loving

Letting go of Loneliness, Separation, Isolation, and Shame that accompany the avoidant style

computer man

It's Not Sex: What Men Are Really Looking For On Cheating Sites

A psychologist goes on a cheating site — and here's what she discovered.


Addiction To Love And Romance: When He Didn't Call

They finally have sex. SHE: It's love! HE: She wants too much. SHE: That's just the way men are.


Surrogate Spouse: When Your Parent Loved You Too Much

When marriages are troubled sometimes parents turn to their children as special – too special

Beach Body

The Goddess-Whore Split - Why Men Are Confused

Does he see you as innocent, a goddess, a good girl? Or as slut, whore, bad girl? Or Both?

Check Out My New Book
Bring Love and Sex Together: The Value of Healing Sexual Shame, A Novel
Grace is fascinated by her explorations of her ...
By Anne Stirling Hastings
Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised
Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised ...
By Anne Stirling Hastings Ph. D
Create New Love: How Men and Women can Prepare for a Lasting Relationship
If you have gone from relationship to ...
By Anne Stirling Hastings
Healing Humanity: Life Without Shame
Healing Humanity reveals how shame causes ...
By Anne Stirling Hastings Ph. D

Anne Stirling Hastings

All Specialties

Abuse / Survivors of Abuse, Addiction, Attachment Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Empowering Men, Empowering Women, Emptiness, Engagement, Health/Wellness, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Life Management, Marriage, Matchmaking, Men's Issues, Online Dating, Self-Esteem, Sex Addiction, Sexuality