Isn't it time you grew out of your bad boy phase?
Too many women are "addicted" to dating bad boys. Guys who are exciting at first, but turn out to be just a lot of drama and problems.
One celebrity who seems to have a rich history with bad boys is Taylor Swift. That makes her a great example of how other women can help break the bad boy addiction, since she seems to have found the real thing with Tom Hiddleston.
Breaking out of that bad boy phase, that bad boy ADDICTION, is hard to do!
Taylor seems to have done the work. Her relationship with Calvin Harris didn't end in a fiery rage, it simply, seemingly, expired. It was calm. It was adult.
What that communicates to me is that she grew up. She doesn't need, nor want the drama anymore. Again…
She's ready for, and she has found, her man.
In the past, it wasn’t safe for her to open her heart. Because when she opened her heart, it was broken.
Calvin showed her that it's safe. I believe that Calvin allowed her to feel safe and seen in their relationship: those are 2 of the 3 Core Relationship Essentials. The third is sexy.
1. Find a love that makes you feel SAFE.
You need to feel physically, emotionally, financially safe with them in order to really grow.
2. Wait for a relationship where you feel SEEN.
You feel seen and heard for who you are, no façade, no makeup, no perfection — just you — and you’re loved even more because of it.
3. Appreciate a relationship where you feel SEXY.
Calvin set the stage for Tom. He showed her what a real relationship, one that's healthy, looks and feels like. He showed her that it’s not about the drama or even about the crazy explosive fireworks. It’s calm, it’s easy, it’s adult, and just feels good.
But they broke up. And she was sincerely heartbroken. Because it's heartbreaking to be faced with the reality that your fantasy is not coming true.
But, thanks to Calvin, she finally knew what she needs in a relationship. She was on her dating purpose to find the 3 Core Needs: Safe, Sexy, and Seen.
And now, because Taylor was on her dating purpose, because she had real clarity as to what it is that she was looking for and needed, she found that.
That's what happens when you're dating on purpose. You find what you're looking for.
So now the question is: Is she going about it the right way?
Maybe flaunting it isn’t what she should be doing. But I don’t believe it’s out of spite. I believe that she simply wants to show the world that she is finally with a good guy who is good for her and who makes her happy. Doing, what appears to be, paparazzi photo shoot happens to be how she is used to announcing her new relationship status … kind of how the rest of the world does it on Facebook.
Is she rushing in? Is she going to fast?
But we don’t know what conversations they have had, how emotionally close they have gotten, how honest they have been about their mistakes from the past and what they have learned about who they are and what they realistically looking for in the future, and how connected they have become thanks to opening their hearts and allowing themselves to be vulnerable. If they have done all of that — they can go as fast or slow as they want.
The speed of the relationship doesn’t dictate the success of it.
Hopefully this relationship will be sealed with a different type of music single. One that isn't a heartbreak song, but instead a real love song.
And YOU can have that, too.