You don't need to be that guy (or gal).
Online dating has changed the course of how we get to know each other.
Before, the only way to meet our potential dates was at bars, work, church or social clubs, or by relying on friends to set us up.
Now that smartphones put every imaginable dating option in our hot little hands, pressure to "sell" ourselves through a profile presenting an ideal image just grows and grows.
Online dating has its share of frustrations. We feel that it's simple enough to create a wish list for a perfect partner, tell them we've arrived to answer their dreams, and then — at the push of a button — throw our wish into the world-wide dating pool and land on our perfect match.
Dreaming about your perfect partner is great, but there are much smarter ways to find the right match for you!
In order to find that person who truly matches with you, focus on these 3 essential elements of your profile:
1. Use a profile picture that shows the current and REAL you
As much as we hate to admit it, we are ALL visually oriented when it comes to initial attraction. We tend to emphasize and judge the fact that men are visual, but come on ladies, so are we!
Your picture is the very first thing that draws attention to your profile. Make sure it captures you at your best so you stand out (in a positive way) as people scroll and swipe through the masses looking for love. It should also intrigue someone enough to want to learn more about you.
It is exceptionally important to use clear, quality photos that are current and actually look like you. Easy on the make up, Photoshop and filters. You want to be recognizable on the first date.
I don't want to sound like an annoying parent taking your photo, but remember to smile. Serious photos may seem dramatic or "real," but they just are not as well-received.
Try to include at least one full-length body shot. Whether you like it or not, a potential date will wonder about your shape. Nothing good comes of meeting someone who didn't expect what they were getting.
Also, use a picture that expresses your personality and some of the things you love. This could mean a hobby shot, photos from a ski vacation, with your pet, or showing off your sense of humor.
Family photos with siblings or kids are well received if kept to a minimum, but don’t over do it.
Here are other profile picture no-no's:
- Stay away from posting group pictures.
- Never post pictures with dates, exes or friends of the opposite sex (big turn off.)
- No sunglass pictures, people want to see your entire face.
- Do not post old photos; they must actually look like you currently, not 3 years ago or older.
- No photos too blurry, so small, or far off that there is no way to tell what you really look like.
- Keep pictures focused on you not the dog, kids, cat, house, car, motorcycle, or trip you went on. If you are not in it, do not post it on your profile.
Your picture is the first introduction to a possible future partner. It is a visual story of who you are. This is the beginning point where they start to determine if you could be a long-term relationship or a hookup date.
Be aware of the image you want to project to a possible mate: sexual, classy, fun, fit, intelligent etc. Bikini shots on a boat; lingerie in a bedroom; sexy boob shots; men in their underwear; elegantly dressed at a gala; blue jeans on a horse etc., all pictures paint different scenarios.
Know what message you want to send out, and what type of person you want to attract before you post the picture!
2. Choose a username you wouldn't be embarrassed to show your true friends.
Your user name reflects how you identify yourself as well as how you want other’s to identify with you. Try to keep it simple, light and positive, and maybe tie it to something that reflects who you are and what you are looking for, i.e. LoyalAndLoving.
Do not include your name, address, phone number or any other information you wouldn't be comfortable sharing with complete strangers.
3. Create an authentic profile that aligns with your true self.
When somebody clicks on your site to find out more about you they should not be reading things like, "I am handsome," "My female friends tell me I am a great catch," or "I look great in a cocktail dress and I have a great sense of humor."
Your pictures are there to allow them to form their own opinions. Your profile is your opportunity to show them who YOU really are.
Show off your personality by describe things you enjoy doing, the type of person you would be attracted to, your sense of humor, and maybe even some quotes or brief poems if they help describe your honest feelings.
Keep your profile light and genuine by focusing on who you ARE looking for, rather than on who you aren't. It's OK to include a few deal-breakers, but it's better to come from a positive place as much as possible. Try something like, "I am looking for an honest and loyal partner," rather than the something similar but negative along the lines of, "No liars or cheaters wanted."
Remember, you are making an important first impression that will determines who you will or will not get an opportunity to meet.
Keep it honest and accurate. No lying about age, height, or body style. Be upfront, because the right person will want to meet YOU. If you mislead people, you start out on the wrong foot having already lost their trust.
And, spelling and grammatical errors are huge hot buttons for many people, so proofread before turning on your profile.
These key ingredients are sure to help you become much more successful in finding the right partner for a lifetime of love.
For more online dating help call Deni Abbie.