It's not just an urge.
Cheating is a destructive event that can happen within any relationship. It is important to be aware that people have different definitions of what cheating means to them. For example, some people believe flirting is an innocent act whilst other people may feel that it is a sign of much more.
There are different types of cheating, which include:
- Physical cheating: Physically cheating is when a person within a relationship engages in a sexual activity with another person outside of the relationship. It could include engaging in physical activities like hugging, kissing, foreplay, dry humping, oral sex and penetrative sex.
- Emotional cheating: Emotional cheating can begin harmlessly. It may start off with someone intimately talking about problems within their lifestyle to another person outside of the relationship. These two people can begin to form a strong bond that develops into a sexually charged emotional connection.
- Sexting: Sexting is when two people sexually flirt via the text messaging system on their mobiles. It can include sending nude photos to each other and dirty talking.
- Cyber cheating: Cyber cheating happens when two people develop a passionate relationship online through social networking services. It could include the use of Facebook and dating websites like eHarmony. The interactions may at first be flirty but can quickly lead to an intimate development.
A good way to know whether you have cheated is to understand whether you would tell your partner about the interaction you had with another person. A clinical psychologist, Alicia H. Clark stated: “Secrecy is a good litmus test — if you wouldn’t tell your partner about the interaction, no matter how ‘innocent’ you think it is, you’re having an affair.”
Everyone already understands that cheating is wrong, so why do people cheat?
1. A person is not committed to the relationship.
People are placed in situations where people may flirt with them, which may have never happened to them before. Some people are given the opportunity to cheat and within that moment they are not afraid of the consequences. The feeling of the chase may be more captivating than maintaining a relationship.
Alicia H. Clark stated: “Novelty is a big player in attraction, and anonymity offers opportunity. Maybe you meet some guy on a plane, and he flirts with you, flatters you, and gives you something you’re not getting in your primary relationship. If you engage in a way that helps you fill whatever void you have in your primary relationship, you’re entering emotional infidelity territory.”
2. People use cheating is an excuse to end the relationship.
A person within the relationship may fall out of love. The person looking to leave the relationship may cheat so the relationship ends.
3. A person’s relationship needs are not met.
People have different needs within their sex life that only their partner can fulfill. These needs include passion, romance, affection, attention, love, sex and feelings of appreciation. If the needs are not met it can bring on feelings of being taken for granted, loneliness, tension, and neglect. In some cases, they may have asked their partner to try something new to spice their relationship up but the request was ignored.
The feelings of sexual exploration, motivation and curiosity can outweigh a boring sex life which can make two people grow apart. Eventually, a person may begin to find another way to get their needs met.
4. The couple does not spend time maintaining the relationship.
There are a lot of responsibilities that can get in the way of maintaining a personal relationship. Some things include work, cooking, cleaning and children. Maintaining a relationship is just as important as all of the other responsibilities in our life, people just need to set aside time to spend with each other.
5. Lack of expression and communication within a relationship.
People often forgot to tell each other how much they mean to each other or forget to discuss important aspects of their relationship. Lack of communication can mean there was no way for their relationship to grow.
6. A need for self-exploration.
When two people spend all their time together, things can grow boring. Sometimes people need personal space to separate themselves from their relationship. Some people look to someone else to help build their own personal identity.
Some people are insecure and feel like their partner will cheat on them or their relationship won’t last. Some insecure people cheat first before they get hurt. Because cheating is easier than feeling emotional pain.
This article was originally published at Adult Smart Blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.