We Asked 10 Men The Sad-But-True Reasons They REALLY Cheat

Photo: weheartit
why men cheat
Heartbreak, Sex

"The opportunity presented itself."

We'd like to think our relationships are forever, but truth is, sometimes they aren't. And that relationship may end because someone has been cheating.

If it's even a consideration, something is missing from the relationship (and it's not even something sexual) and the little things make a huge difference. Has "my person" stopped paying attention to my day-to-day appearance? Do they smile when I get home? Am I a consideration in their daily lives or just an add-on? A new relationship brings all of that back.

A "fine" piece of tail or someone that will do something I can't ask my person for can always be found — that's just running the numbers. "I assume for most people there are other factors as well. If you travel 50 percent of the time for business but that day-to-day is also missing, there's something there," says one man we spoke to.

Take the super stereotypical cheater, like Mad Men's Don Draper, for example. As dapper and handsome as he was, he was essentially an accessory to Betty (someone to play the Ken to her Barbie). He was appreciated by his many trysts for who he was.

Real life isn't a TV show, but here are 9 reasons why men cheat.

1. He doesn't feel appreciated or desired.

When the communication lines are closed or when a guy doesn't feel his needs, desires or wants are not being heard, there is a tendency to look elsewhere.

"For me, the key to a passionate and long-lasting relationship is communication. Where each person can be heard and share feelings, concerns, desires without judgment. A relationship that can be open to sharing new experiences. Keep things playful, instilling a sense of variety and not just doing it out of duty. Just like a woman, a man wants to feel desired."

2. He simply isn't happy.

"Many factors can come into play: neglect, unhappiness in other parts of his life, aging and seeing if he still has his mojo, an unwilling partner who isn't interested in sex or has issues of her own, the constant barrage of seeing sexually charged ads, a woman who may have made some suggestive remarks and stimulated those long dead hormones. A man reacts more viscerally and immediate, and depending on what stage of life he is in or whether kids/no kids are involved, it may be more willing to take the risk."

3. He's tired of the same boring routine.

"All guys cheat because you get bored of the same thing. I love fine dining but sometimes you crave a fast food burger."

4. There's a lack of connection.

"A lack of communication. A lack of intimacy. Feelings of loneliness. Or just an overall lack of interest but the guy is too big a wimp to break it off."

5. He feels something is missing.

"The primary reason anyone considers straying is because they aren't getting what they need or want for too long."

6. His partner doesn't give him attention.

"Not receiving love and attention from their partner! We all want to be loved and if we are not getting it, we'll find it elsewhere."

7. His needs aren't getting met.

"For the most part, men have very basic needs that, if not met, they will simply go out and get on their own. Sex, attention, and things of that nature can be achieved if they are not feeling it from their partner. Is there a danger aspect? Of course — that is an attraction to cheating."

8. He lives in the moment.

"I didn't want to cheat. In fact, I never cheated on any girlfriend ever. But I cheated on my wife. I cheated on the mother of my two children. And I feel terribly guilty about it. But I did it because we were missing the 'family' aspect that tied us to one another. We had become distant and I wasn't feeling fulfilled. I blame myself for not saying something first so that we could have just split (and it wouldn't have gotten ugly), but I didn't. I lived in the moment and didn't think about consequences."

9. There was an opportunity to cheat.

"Desire and opportunity can be a dangerous mix which can lead to cheating, especially during rocky times in a marriage or relationship. Neglect not just on the purely sexual side, but lack of willingness to do anything about it by the woman can lead to cheating. Guys probably need that physical release more and we react quicker to stimulating images and situations. Add in an opportunity (traveling on business, at a hotel) and being in a vulnerable time in the marriage, and next thing you know you are in the throes of passion."

10. He can't control his impulses.

"It's a lot of things. This is going to sound like a major cop-out but people generally have some degree of addiction to novelty. Men have a penchant for poorer impulse control. Throw in opportunity and the hot neck/acid butterflies-in-the-belly feeling of intense, new, mutual attraction and suddenly fresh tail becomes a little harder to run away from. And add booze and/or an accessible hotel room and it's like having a peg leg trying to outrun a jaguar. And then there are the guys who only feel validated by convincing new women to sleep with them."

 

Author
Blogger