The Top 3 Complaints Couple Counselors Hear From Men — FIXED

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3 Complaints From Men In Couples Therapy And How To Fix Them
Heartbreak, Love

It's a win-win for everyone.

You've asked and asked and asked, but he remains unwilling to go to couples therapy — even though he says he's open to doing whatever it takes to improve your marriage.

Deep down you know that each of your greatest joy is each other. Everyone makes mistakes, so you obviously expected to have a few battles along the way to a lifetime together. All couples do.

But when he makes demands and places unfair expectations on you, you grow resentful and communication breaks down. You're not sure how you'll ever get him to change, especially because he seems to think you're the only one with a problem.



Unfortunately, a large number of men are still afraid of the therapist's chair.

He may know a guy who had a bad experience with marriage counseling in the past. He may think the problems in your relationship aren't so dire that it's time to call in the help of a third-party.

What he does want is to see results, especially when that means more time in the bedroom together.


It's a big step in the right direction to express your feelings about what's not working to him, but it is equally as important to make he know you want to hear him out as well. You simply MUST step away from the blame game.

In order to offer some insight into what may be at the heart of it all for your man, we asked our YT Experts to share the complaints they hear most often from men during couples counseling.

Here's what they said, along with their suggestions for addressing the problems.

1. COMPLAINT: "My wife hardly ever wants to have sex with me anymore!"

"The fix? Date your wife! Plan a fun date with your wife every week or two that you'll both enjoy. Don't forget to make reservations, line up the babysitter, dress up a little, give her a genuine compliment, be affectionate, put away your phone, listen, and gaze into her eyes.

Oh, and be sure to do two or three of her regular chores (like washing the dishes) earlier in the week."

Lynda Spann, Ph.D. is a couples therapist and relationship coach. You can follow her blog on YourTango or on her website

2. COMPLAINT: My partner expects me to be a mind reader and then gets upset when I can't predict what she wants. 

"Mind-reading expectations are often cries for help disguised as frustration or anger. Recognizing the signs can go a long way in helping you learn how to better anticipate and provide the support your partner needs."

Michelle Tajudeen is a certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation and Founder of Meta-Coaching and Consulting. You can follow her blog on YourTango or learn more about her on her website.

3. COMPLAINT: I want to feel desired, too.

"More so than complaining about not getting laid, men talk about longing to feel desired and connected to. They want their partners to initiate intimacy, to seek out closeness with them. They want to feel they matter and are appreciated."

Jessica Lyons is a Relationship Expert and Couples Therapist. you can follow her blog on YourTango or her website JessicaLyonsLMFT.com.

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