So don't settle now.
Getting in a relationship always seems like the right move when it's a guy who tells you he's crazy about you. When he sends you "good morning" texts and calls you special. When — at first — he does almost everything right, getting serious isn't even a question.
He's not a serial killer and he likes you. What more can a girl ask for?
I've made the repeated mistake of being with guys simply because they liked me. How I felt didn't entirely matter because I was deeply convinced that I was crazy and they were the only people who would ever like me, so I better not screw it up.
In fact, for awhile, me screwing up was always the only way I could ever see a relationship ending. Every argument was my fault, and if things didn't work out, it was because of something I did.
That backward ass way of thinking finally ceased when I realized that being in a relationship did nothing to validated my own self-worth.
Actually, it did the opposite. It kind of destroyed it.
You see, my life was put on hold when I got a boyfriend. The sun and the moon and the stars revolved around them and everything I wanted to do become less relevant.
It was that ah-ha moment that scared me straight. And I hope you have one too.
Another good thing to add on to the pile of good things you've already been creating yourself.
You should never be in a relationship just to be in one. And sometimes you really have to ask yourself the tough questions to see if you're getting into it for the right reasons.
Lust is a murky bitch, and it's easy to get caught up in the fantasy and completely ignore reality. Bring yourself back down to earth with the following questions:
- Have I made an effort to see how he fits into my life (i.e. gets along with my friends, is respective of my work schedule, etc.)?
- Do I ever cancel plans for him?
- Does the idea of him changing his mind about me, make me panic?
- Have I stopped doing things I used to do in order to make time for him?
If your answers are making you think twice about this dude, then think twice about this dude. Don't rush into something because you're scared it's about to fall apart.
Settling for love means settling for a life that you don't want.
It means you forgo your individuality and priorities in order to make someone else feel more comfortable.
So don't settle. Focus your attention on making your life as awesome as possible and trust that love will come when it's meant to.