By Krystal Talley
No one wants to be “the other woman” (if you do, then you’ve got problems). But chances are you’ll end up a side chick at least once in your life, whether you realize it or not.
There are clues to look out for. No single sign automatically mean he’s cheating on someone with you (it probably just means he’s not that into you). But if he’s guilty of several (or more) of these, then you very well might be his side dish.
1. He’s always crazy busy.
You really like him and he seems like a great guy, but when it comes to actually spending quality time with each other, he’s always got work, he’s got plans, he’s sick, he’s traveling.
He’ll make time for sex, sure, but romantic picnics or meeting up with your friends are out. Similarly, while he claims he’s slammed, he’ll do you the honor of squeezing you in for an hour and a half a week from now.
2. You never go to his place.
Because either he’s got a framed picture of him and his girlfriend on his nightstand, he’s afraid his girlfriend will show up, or because he LIVES with his girlfriend!
3. You guys never go out in public.
It’s always Netflix & chill. Hey may say it’s because he just loves spending time alone with you, but make sure it’s not because he doesn’t want to get caught out and about with another woman by friends, family, coworkers or his significant other.
4. He texts sporadically.
Everyone is entitled to some peace and quiet, away from technology. But if he’s constantly on his phone when you’re together — responding to texts, checking email (from his secret girlfriend) — but then takes hours or days to respond to your texts, then he might not be able to respond because he’s hanging out with his main squeeze.
5. You NEVER talk on the phone.
Some people may prefer to text rather than actually talk on the phone, but it’s nice to hear your partner’s voice from time to time — especially if you’ve been hooking up for a while. If he never picks up when you call, that might be because his girlfriend’s with him when you’re not.
6. There are periods of time when you don’t hear from him at all.
Sometimes he disappears and you don’t hear from him days or even weeks at a time. When you reach out to him, you get nothing, nada, no response. And then the moment you stop trying to contact him — i.e. you start moving on — he starts texting again.
Maybe he’s just interested in commitment-free sex, or maybe he’s just interested in commitment-free sex when his live-in girlfriend’s out of town.
7. You get no love during major holidays.
The holidays are the times you spend with those you care about the most. It’s understandable that things do come up which may cause you to have to postpone, or he’s not ready to introduce you to his family, but if he makes excuses as to why he can’t see you on Valentine’s Day, then that’s because he’s taking his girlfriend out to a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. Have fun ordering in!
8. He won’t friend you on Facebook.
Again, he might resist friending you because he doesn’t want anything serious. But if he treats you like his girlfriend — i.e. calls you his girlfriend, says you’re exclusive, etc. — but still won’t accept your friend request, then that’s probably because he’s leading a double life.
9. He never sleeps over.
You never go to his place; he always goes to yours. But he never sleeps over. Maybe he’ll nod off after sex, but he always leaves before it gets too late because he has to “get up early for work.” Yeah, right.
10. He’s got a cute best friend/sister/cousin who keeps popping up in pictures.
He probably won’t share many pics with you, but if he does and you notice a recurring character in them — one who always stands a little too close to your beau, but whom he always refers to as friend/sister/cousin and whom you’ve never met — start probing!
This article was originally published at Em & Lo. Reprinted with permission from the author.