Man Injects A Chicken Egg With His Sperm And Pulls Out A Tiny Monster
Which came first, the weirdo or the egg?
Pedro Antonio SalaverrÃa Calahorra / 123RF Men love their semen.
I mean, you won't find them running around where shirts that say "I <3 My Swimmers", but let's be real, men are quite semen-proud.
How else do you explain the rise of "Homunculus" videos on YouTube these days?
A word of warning: Things are about to get really, really gross, and this is coming from a woman who smeared her own boyfriend's semen on her face in the name of journalism, so make of that what you will.
A homunculus is a term that came of age in Ancient Greece. It describes a humanoid figure, specifically, one created in the belly of a cow using human sperms.
See where this is going yet?
I apologize in advance if you don't know.
People on the internet are injecting their own sperm into chicken eggs in the hopes of creating one of these mythical medical monstrosities.
One man in Russia apparently has sperm so powerful that after just ten days upon cracking the egg he discovered a strange, white, mobile monster child of his own making.
Except that is so clearly not what happened at all.
The video, and others like it, are hoaxes, albeit elaborate ones involves plaster, magnets, and some help behind the scenes.
I don't know which part is more disturbing, that a dude decided this would be a fun use of his own man juice, or that he woke up one morning and was like "время шалость Интернет с моей спермы , я лучше позвонить Александру за помощью," which is Russian for "Time to prank the internet with my semen, I better call Alexander for help."
Thankfully for every one of these bizarre videos that exist, there exists a diligent YouTuber who is ever so delighted to rip their findings to shreds.
I will say, I kind of feel like I didn't need that man's help.
Being a professional journalist, before simply Googling, I reached out to my friends on Facebook. I was sure one of them was a doctor who could explain why this wasn't possible.
The results were disappointing, entertaining, but not surprising.
So, having failed at journalism, I did a quick Google search and, after I got over being horrified that so many people search "can human sperm fertilize a chicken egg" chicken learned that the gametes of a human and a chicken are different so fertilization is basically impossible.
Thanks for keeping the world safe from furious human chicken monsters, science!
The internet is a terrifying and magical place, and by magical I mean riddled with men looking for innovative ways to dispose of their own secretions.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer and editor living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.
Editor's Note: This article was originally posted on August 11, 2016 and was updated with the latest information.