An app designed to ghost someone? Created by dudes? SHOCKER.
When you decide it's time to break up with someone, it sucks. It sucks for a million reasons.
You might not want to marry this person, but you care about them. You know that the break up talk is going to be hard. But, you're also a grown up. And you know that as much as it sucks to end things, it sucks even more to lead someone on or to fade away, ghost style, leaving them devastated and baffled.
Ghosting someone is the most reviled means of breaking up with someone that currently exists.
If you don't know about it, consider yourself lucky.
Ghosting is when you decide to end a relationship and communicate this to the other person by never speaking to them again.
Boom. You're gone. Ghosted. Never to be heard from again.
If you've been ghosted, my sympathies. If you HAVE ghosted someone yourself, sweet lord I hope you have reformed.
Twenty lashes with a wet noodle.
It's the coward's way out. No one can argue with that, although I'm sure some ghosters would, provided the idea of confrontation didn't make them went to whizz their pants.
It's also remarkably easy to do. If you want to ghost someone, you just slowly stop answering their calls and text messages. Done.
But if even this is too much for you, fret not, there's a new app available that will do all the heavy lifting for you.
It should come as no surprise that the company responsible for bringing this delight into the world is made up of 100% dudey dude dudes.
To make use of this feature, you've got download the app Burner. As the name might indicate, burner gives you alternate phone numbers at which you can be reached until you decide you don't want to be reached anymore. Classy!
Reading about it DEFINITELY didn't make me want to throw up at all.
Once you've got Burner on your phone, enabling Ghostbot allows the app to decide based on previous levels of interaction whether it should send them a vague "I need some me time" type text or let you communicate.
To me this sounds like a recipe for disaster.
That said, if you're so emotionally stunted that you need a robot to ignore people for you in order to save you some time, you've probably got a disaster or two headed your way, if we're talking about karma.
The skeeviest part to me about the app is that it purports to be FOR women.
You know, to help us get rid of those creepy guys who sometimes text us. But let's be real: It's called GHOSTBOT. DUDES WILL USE IT TO GHOST PEOPLE.
Can you imagine Ghostbot doing something like deciding to tell your mom "sorry new phone who dis?" I would maybe never ever hear the end of it, and fair enough!
Imagine running late for a job interview and getting a text from a recruiter going "where are you?" Ghostbot decides to tell this business professional "I gotta be r n babe."
The potential for shenanigans is super high, which I kind of love.
I wonder if Jim Carrey knows about this app. Because he should star in a movie about a guy who uses it religiously until learning some important lesson from a babe.
Him or Adam Sandler, I guess.