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My clitoris is no longer the center of attention.
By Rebecca Dane — Written on Jun 20, 2016
No one really told me what a G-spot was. At summer camp, I learned that you can use your finger to give yourself pleasure, but I didn't really understand how. Sticking my finger up there just didn't really do anything for me.
So at age 10, I decided that I wasn't going to penetrate myself for pleasure.
Then I heard about this majestic clitoris — supposedly the ONE thing you need to learn about. Do you know where your clit is? Does your partner know where it is? Do they know what to do with it? If you aren't orgasming, then they're doing something wrong and you need to work harder at stimulating your clit. Can you get from A to Z with your tongue? Unfortunately yes, because at Z, I still haven't orgasmed.
Here I am, having already ruled out penetrative masturbation, and the world was telling me that the clit was the answer — except my clit WASN'T the answer. Yes, I came close to orgasming, but in the end nothing happened. No screams, no shakes, no squirts — just a whole lot of frustration.
I had kind of resigned to the fact that I would never orgasm and this was almost a decade after that failed masturbation lesson at summer camp.
That is, until I read about the G-spot. Did someone really just say that the clit isn't the end-all of pleasure? You mean that there is something else I can try? What happened next is pretty obvious; it involves finding myself alone in my bed. It involves a very, very happy ending.
The moment I searched around for my G-spot I knew that this new information would make a difference. It didn't happen on the first attempt, but I just knew that this was going to be my answer. My clit was no longer the center of attention; it would have to share the spotlight with my G-spot.
I have what people call a "mixed orgasm": I require both clitoral and G-spot stimulation in order to cum. Some people can orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone, while others (although seemingly rarer) can orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone.
Many people have mixed orgasms, and if you haven't tried it yet, I would recommend adding an extra dimension to your masturbation session.
Since learning how to pleasure myself, I have been able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone, but I much prefer when it's mixed. For me, it feels stronger and deeper, like my whole body is being launched into space. I recently learned how to squirt, too, which is all about the G-spot stimulation.
1. I've learned that my vagina is picky, but that's OK.
I can't orgasm easily, but I have found ways that make it pleasurable for me. I have found ways to make it work. I have learned that my G-spot is what really sends me over the edge.
2. I much prefer using a sex toy to hit the right spot. My fingers get tried!
There are so many available toys out there and I've learned that as long as it can rub against my G-spot, I'm a very happy lady. I just wish someone had told me sooner that rubbing my clit harder or faster or in bigger circles or in zig zag lines or whatever worked for someone else might not work for me.
3. Everyone receives pleasure differently.
I learned that I wasn't broken, but that I just hadn't found the right combination yet. I learned that there's a lack of pleasure-based information available for women. I learned that more people need to discover the G-spot. More people need to talk about it.
If you're comfortable with penetration, then go Google where your G-spot is and try to find it. Take some time alone, grab a toy and some lube or just use your fingers and try to find out where it is. It might not be pleasurable for you, and that's OK.
However, finding my G-spot changed my sex life completely. You know what I've learned about my vagina?
4. The clitoris isn't always going to work.
But I also have a G-spot, a U-spot, an A-spot, a PS-spot and so many more ways to find pleasure. Everyone enjoys different things, but the trick is to explore until you find out what works for you.
