You're really getting in your own way
Dating is a numbers game. We all know that. As little girls, our mothers constantly told us: "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming."
So, if we know this, why do we get so upset when one of those frogs doesn't call us for a second date?
What's the big deal? Is it because we feel rejected? Our egos reacting to not being chosen and adored by everyone we meet? Or is it something deeper, like believing this date not working out is a symbol of our failure at love in general? That somehow we're entirely unlovable, doomed to die an old maid, alone with her cats.
Seriously, it's this kind of thinking that's keeping you stuck!
Entertaining the notion that dating is actually some magical shockwave you send out. "I'm ready for love!" you declare to the Universe, and poof! ... your dream man appears. Sorry. It doesn't work that way. And you expecting it to work that way is part of the problem.
Dating is a process and your path to finding real love is unique to you. You'll only know how many frogs it takes to find your beloved after that special person enters your life. But the trajectory you're on can change in the blink of an eye if you shift one thing — your attitude.
How you behave on a date matters, and expert Know-It-All-Nancy has a lot to say about how women sabotage their second date chances ... usually without even realizing it.
Did you know (according to Match.com), it takes men only 15 minutes to decide if you're worth a second date?
15 awkward, socially critical minutes to do or say something amazing if you'd like him to stay interested. That's a LOT of pressure!
What if you're having a bad day? Or your hair is a wreck? Or you ramble on about something silly when you first meet because you're nervous? It happens. And that's why you can't base how loveable you are on being "rejected" by a man you hardly know.
But, you can learn from that experience.
According to Know-It-All Nancy, (a.k.a. Nancy Nichols), there are several things you can do to bring your best, most attractive self to a first date. And there's also a big list of things you should avoid doing.
In the video above, she takes us to school about what does and does not win you a second date.
Maybe it's you? Maybe it's him? But either way, how you behave when you're with someone new determines the success of the date. What you tell yourself when a date doesn't work out also matters.
If you usually tell yourself that you're a loser because Mr. Frog didn't pick you, that has to change! You'll never find a quality relationship holding on to that mindset. (We've all been rejected once ... twice ... or more.) It's part of the process!
Watch Nancy's video above to hear her straight-talking advice. She's breaking down the ways you prevent a man from seeing how special and attractive you are. And for God's sake, listen to her words of wisdom at the very end. She really does save the best for last.
Need a little dating pick-me-up? Nancy specializes in giving women the straight truth about men and what it really means to date with your head screwed on straight. Her trilogy of books include God, Please Fix Me!, Never Date a Dead Animal and Secrets of the Ultimate Husband Hunter. You can find them on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or her website knowitallnancy.com