Photo: WeHeartIt
You're not a puppet! Don't let her treat you like one.
By Tim Dillon — Written on Jul 07, 2017
My fellow gentlemen, this information is not to be taken as concrete proof of emotional abuse, but only to make you think about whether or not you — yes, you — are being manipulated by your female counterpart.
"But she's super into me! There's no way I'm being manipulated."
Think again, good sir! She may very well be playing your heart like the Phantom maniacally playing his organ in the depths of the Paris Opera House. Creepy, right?
You buy the girl dinner, she kisses you back at the end of the night, and you promptly float home on cloud nine. Sounds great, except for the fact that she just used you for that free dinner and some entertainment for the evening. That’s rough, man.
Unfortunately, we tend to get caught up in the romantics of a relationship, even if it’s not much of a relationship at all when you take a step back and look at it. When feelings for another person develop, it’s difficult to switch off your now overflowing heart that oozes romance and flirtatious speech. You’re putting time, effort and energy into the possibility of a committed relationship, but all the while she’s only in it for the fun and convenient aspects, leaving your good intentions in the dust.
Well is this avoidable, you ask? Yes, it is, if you look out for the warning signs you're being manipulated. Manipulative women can be spotted from a mile away as long as you know what you need to avoid.
If your significant other is doing any of the following — or worse, a few of the following — it's time to either drop her like a sick beat or invest in some real estate in The Friend Zone.
How am I qualified to determine your female's intentions and present to you these signs you're being manipulated? I've had beach-front property in The Friend Zone for quite some time and have experienced many of the following unsettling signals first-hand.
1. You're routinely buying her things with no reciprocation.
Photo: weheartit
It's ingrained in a man's head that he's the one who should pay most often when taking a girl out. The playful "reach for the check" game is incredibly important early on in a relationship since it shows she's not automatically expecting you to foot the bill for her meal.
If you're routinely the one paying, however, and there's been minimal effort from her to contribute financially, you're probably getting used for your wallet. This reciprocation also extends to physical reciprocation.
Relax, ladies — I'm not saying you are obligated to bang someone just because they shelled out $9 for your mixed drink. However, if there is no physical reciprocation beyond a simple hug, she's most likely not interested in you that way.
2. She doesn't let you NEAR her phone.
Photo: weheartit
It's the 21st Century and everyone has their phone either in their hand or within arm's reach at all times. Does she tense up when she answers her phone around you? Does she tilt the screen away from you so you can't see who she’s texting? Does she make sure its face down most of the time, or lock the phone immediately after receiving a text so the screen goes black?
She's probably hiding another dude(s) in her phone like R. Kelly in the closet.
3. You're basically her chauffeur.
Photo: weheartit
If she owns a car, yet you are the one always driving, she may be using you as her own personal Uber driver (with benefits, if you're lucky). Gas costs a limb, and she's well aware of that each time you pick her up and drop her off.
I'm not saying you shouldn't offer to drive — personally, I prefer to drive whenever I'm with friends just because I'm more comfortable being in control of the car — but if she's never offered to drive and there isn't a valid reason, she may be taking you for a ride.
4. She talks to you about other guys, outright.
Photo: weheartit
Of course, she's going to naturally mention other men in her life, but how in depth? Is "that friend from work" really a friend from work or is he your sexual competitor and you don't even know it?
If she's talking about drinking with other men or going to exciting places with them, chances are she just considers you a friend and she's casually letting you know about her life. She's obviously not telling you about these guys to show you she likes you better.
The same rule applies to men in a new relationship. If she's constantly bringing up her ex for little things like, "Oh look, my jerk ex used to drive that car," or, "My ex used to do that in bed, too," she's using you like a backboard and looking for a rebound.
5. She always has an excuse when she's unavailable, which is often.
Photo: weheartit
"Ahhh, I totally want to come! I just have so much work to do."
"OMG I totally forgot! Sorry!"
"Coffee sounds great, but I'm just getting over being sick and I don't want to infect you."
The last one was a little obvious, but you get the point. Of course, you have to use your own discretion as to whether or not she's making up an excuse or actually can't hang out with you.
If you’ve attempted a rendezvous multiple times and have been met with excuses, she's probably not into you and is just using you as someone to talk to when she's bored. If you barely talk, she's definitely not into you, so plant your flag somewhere else.
6. She only texts you when she's drunk.
Photo: weheartit
If she does, she wants coitus and nothing else. She's not interested in a relationship with you or walking off into the sunset while holding hands. She wants sex and that's it.
Obviously, this would be tough for most men to turn down — particularly if there is interest in more than just a hook-up — but make no mistake with her intentions. She's in need of some vitamin D and knows where she can easily get it.
7. You hook up more than you hang out.
Photo: weheartit
While this may not sound like a problem for many guys, if you are romantically interested in her and want a relationship at some point, this should raise some red flags. She may not consider you more than an available set of genitals, and may even be seeing other guys on the side.
If she randomly starts using new positions or moves on you, a tiny lightbulb should appear over your head. If her using you for sex isn't an issue for you, then, by all means, continue to hit that like the bottom of a ketchup bottle.
8. She uses a version of the phrase, "I can't be with you right now."
Photo: weheartit
Tread carefully, gents — she knows exactly what she's doing and knows she can easily get away with it if you don’t stand up for yourself. She's keeping you on her hook like a trout until she (if ever) decides to reel you in.
The phrase "right now" implies that, even though she's currently nailing someone else or isn't in a good place in her life, she may decide later that you're finally worthy of her devotion. If you hear this phrase, swim for safer waters, young tuna.
She's manipulating you to keep you around to satisfy her need for attention; meanwhile, she's free to do whatever (or whoever) she wants. If you're expecting her to dump her boyfriend for you, don't. Even if she does, she proves that she may be open to doing it again, but this time to you.