Good news! Your bad hair day (week) doesn't matter to him.
Sometimes men get a bad rap for not noticing things, not paying attention to small details, and even just not listening in general. While I do often disagree with many of these generalizations, it is true that there are some things that we just don't care about. But, they might not be the kinds of things that you would think. Here is a quick rundown.
1. We don't care that your hair or makeup isn't perfect today. Trust me, we appreciate the effort you put into looking great - whether it is just for yourself or for a nice event or for your first date with us. But don't be so hard on yourself - if we are spending time with you, we are doing it because we want to, regardless of how you look.
2. We don't care about those few extra pounds that you want to lose. We all have insecurities - men included. Unless we look like Marky Mark's Calvin Klein underwear ad, we have plenty of things we want to change about our own bodies, too. We just don't talk about it as much.
Odds are, the small things you are uncomfortable with are never anything a good man would complain about when being intimate with you. We just want to enjoy you.
3. We don't care if you make more money than us. Or less. Or the same. Or whatever.
Men who are secure in themselves pay much more attention to who you are as a person and how you make us feel when we are around you, rather than what you choose to do for a profession. I would much rather a woman with a beautiful heart and a beautiful mind than the CEO of a major company who is cold and callous.
The happiness that comes along with loving what you do is more important than a paycheck that comes along with something you don't.
4. We don't care that you have a few drinks on a date. As mature adults who know our limits when it comes to alcohol, we genuinely don't mind if you loosen up a little bit or get a little giggly after too much wine. Feeling that you are comfortable around us will make us more comfortable around you. Two things that should be obvious with this point, though:
- Don’t overdo it.
- A good man will never take advantage of you because of this. Just two adults enjoying each other's company.
5. We don't care when you sleep with us. That's right. Whether it's the first date or the fifth date - one thing remains constant: We probably already know whether we want to see you again before we know if/when you are going to sleep with us. We won't judge you if you want to do it on the first date and we won't stop calling you if you want to wait until the fifth. If we want to see you again, we will.
6. We don't care if you text us first. Many women don't think they should text a man first because it shows desperation - this is not true. If he is not texting you and he is interested, he is likely thinking about it constantly but just doesn't want to come across too strong. He will more than welcome seeing your name pop up on his phone and it will take the pressure off of him moving forward.
7. We don't care what you look like when you wake up. I have heard of some women who either won't let men stay over until a certain amount of time has passed in the dating process, or that will go to bed with makeup on - because they don't want him to see how they look when they wake up in the morning.
The truth is, we don't really care. I don't mean this in an apathetic way, I mean it in a "If we are waking up next to you, we think you are beautiful no matter what" way.
8. We don't care what you order for dinner. Hopefully the stigma is not still around that women should eat like rabbits, especially while on a date. If you want a steak, order a damn steak. Don't change what you eat when you are around us because of some nonexistent reason. Indulge!
9. We don't care if you swear around us. I have mentioned in other articles about how it's not 'ladylike' to swear, and it's not 'gentlemanly' either. But let's be honest - we are all mature adults here and can handle the language.
Needless to say, when we are in public or around family it's best to keep the reins pulled in a little bit, but no guy is going to complain about a few F-bombs dropped here and there. It's natural.
10. We don't care if you are not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Nobody. The word itself is essentially meaningless anyway because with 7 billion people in the world, no two will have the same image of perfection in their mind.
So, stop worrying that you don't look like the airbrushed model in the Victoria's Secret advertisement. Stop worrying that you think your hair is too short to be sexy. Stop worrying about those couple of extra pounds. Stop worrying about your awkward birthmark. Stop worrying that you don't have a stupid thigh gap.
We don't care - because when you love someone for who they truly are, everything about them becomes beautiful.
Originally appeared at JamesMSama.com, reprinted in partnership with The Good Men Project.
This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.