Being passive-aggressive is just a way to avoid honesty, loss and confrontation.
It goes without saying that dealing with a person that is passive-aggressive and indirect can be really tricky, not to mention frustrating. When it comes to talking about what's bothering them, they would rather skate around the issue instead of addressing it head on. Even though we've all dealt with someone who would rather lash out and make it seem as if our attitude is really the issue, it can still be hard to figure out if some of the things that we do are just as passive-aggressive. That's why it is so important to use effective communication to figure out what's really going on.
Marriage/Couples Counselor Dr. Rhoberta Shaler's advice on how to tell if you're passive-aggressive is spot on. She definitely has a point when she says that being passive aggressive is just a way to avoid honesty, loss and confrontation; using any opportunity to push your behavior onto someone else just so you won't have to take responsibility for your own mistakes is proof of that. If someone has called you passive-aggressive, chances are that they are being passive-aggressive by subtly pointing out the issues that they have with you without actually voicing them. Before responding, you should evaluate your own behavior and see if you are giving off any signals. If you're not sure, this passive-aggressive checklist will put you on the right track.