The 10 Most WTF Pieces Of Love Advice On Yahoo Answers

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kid surprised
It can be a scary place.

Unless you've been on a deserted island for the last couple weeks, you've probably heard about Benny Johnson, the man fired from Buzzfeed for plagiarizing. During an internal investigation, the site found that Johnson had stolen lines from multiple sources, including, of all places Yahoo Answers. A man who was in charge of writing about politics was lifting some of his material from Yahoo Answers. What is the world coming to?

It wasn't until this assignment that I actually took a look at Yahoo Answers for the first time in my life. Yes, it had come up during Google searches, but I never clicked on it, because knowing it's a bunch of randos on the Internet doling out advice as if they were some sort of expert on the topic, I knew I'd rather get my answers elsewhere.

 

What I learned while being on Yahoo Answers last night is it's a scary place. The majority of people posing questions, especially in the "relationships" section appear to be adolescents or teenagers, and those answering them seem to run the gamut. Overall, it’s like watching a horrible accident that you can't look away from, and to think that someone was stealing from these "experts" is the type of thing that will forever confuse historians.

From what I saw, a new question is posed every few seconds. It's madness! Trying to keep up with the inquiries was practically impossible, but I was on a mission to find the most WTF love advice on there, so I kept on truckin’.

After hours of checking in and scrounging for the creepiest of the creeps, I found a handful that fit the bill. However, to say these are the most WTF responses in the history of Yahoo Answers would probably be wrong. At the rate those questions get fired off, there has to be millions of them out there on the Internet. So, for the sake of argument, I present to you the most WTF love advice on Yahoo Answers in most recent history.

1. Totally reasonable question, because does anyone really know what IWICBWYBTIWOBU means? Oh, wait! Bob does! He's just a few words short. Silly Bob.

2. Dickdecent sounds like quite the charmer! There's nothing like a man who totally ignores any and all grammar while trying to get himself a lady friend.

3. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure Dominique has a very good point here. VERY good. I also have a sneaking suspicion that he might be stoned.

4. A Google search showed me that Goku is a lil cartoon dude. I could be wrong, but I don’t think he’s edible or would even taste good if he was consumed. I feel like Anonymous sold us a bill of goods.

5. Ah! There's nothing like telling someone something that they'll probably regret later, or, if they're underage, which it sounds like she is, promoting child pornography. The people on the Internet are not your friends, you guys.

6. For the love of God! Seriously! Just lock yourself up in a room somewhere and never live your life so you can "avoid premarital sex, abortion, drunkenness, homosexuality…" You're never going to get to heaven if you catch THE gay!

7. I'd never condone putting any sort of food in your "holes," (because, you know, bacteria and probably a yeast infection or two), but Anonymous makes a creative suggestion. And whatever is left over, you can use later on burgers. Win-win.

8. Well, telling someone to move on is always a good idea when they're not getting what they want, but more importantly, what the hell is the Corner Krauszers? Do they have those out west?

9. Lars and the Real Girl is a great movie and definitely valid advice for any man whose wife isn't putting out. Like, totally.

10. Between, "She can be average looking…" and "Start out with fat chicks…" I can't decide which one is more effed up. I'm all for nerds finding love, but if he's douchey enough to start setting requirements before he's even in the game, he probably doesn’t deserve love. As for DMZ, well, he's just a perfect example of the downfall of humanity… not that anyone on this list is a pillar of the community.

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