Is is possible to love someone who's not on the same team as you? 8 women get real about politics.
It may not be an election year, but that doesn't mean politics are off the table. Every day political decisions are made that either directly or indirectly affect us, so it's surprising when people say they don't care about politics. Everyone should care about politics.
With there no longer being just two political parties, there's something out there for everybody. And with the world the way it is, you have to take a side, or, at the very least, pretend to care. It may not always be the most fun topic, but politics are pretty much essential.
We asked the ladies their feelings on dating someone whose politics don't mirror their own. Is is possible to love someone who's not on the same team as you? Or do you have to vote for the same candidate?
We have to back the same politician. No if, ands, or buts about it.
"It's crucial [we’re on the same page]. I am always willing to educate people on the issues that I feel are the most important but I don't have the time to waste on someone whose vote would cancel mine out," says Colleen, 30.
"We absolutely, positively have to feel the same way. I'm super liberal, and if he isn’t, too, then no way. No. Way," says Alex, 33.
"I wish I could say it doesn't matter but it does. I am antivivisection, mostly vegetarian, love my cat (and fish), and I couldn't date someone who is for animal testing, or against equality. These things, our politics are at our core," says Tamara, 27.
Differences are OK, as long as we feel the same way about social issues.
"I'm OK with disagreeing about certain things - tax structures, for instance - but I do not have the time, energy, or inclination to educate or argue with someone that doesn't think me, or any part of my awesome community, deserve equal rights (and agency and body autonomy, etc.) So, basically, political issues that also have a huge social factor? We NEED to agree on. It's not as though I enjoy debating politics, but I just don't think I would want to date someone that didn't agree on those to begin with. They're not my kind of people," says Becky, 29.
"The big one for me is how he feels about the social stuff. I'm more socially invested when it comes to politics, so that’s where we have to overlap," says Ryann, 33.
The inner conflict is real.
"I'm a little torn. We all know what the studies (official an unofficial) say about conservatives. I like to pretend I'm big minded about these things but the few debates I've gotten into with different mind sets gave resulted in frustration. Last week I was stunned to be in a conversation with a date about me not being a feminist. As in, he thinks I'm not one because I don't believe women are better than men -- (secretly, I sometimes do) -- but I am a feminist. But our definitions of feminism were so different (and only one of us was a women's studies major in college) that I didn't think we made any headway on this discussion. I don't know what that portends…" says Annaliese, 34.
Just keep it to yourself, please.
"I'd [date some different from me politically.] I'm not big on talking politics since my views tend to be different than most. If they are ridiculous about expressing their political opinions every second of everyday, or can't stop once they start, I would not date them," says Andrea, 25.
"I was raised to never talk about politics, religion, or money, even with family. I don't ask how people vote, because whatever. Honestly, I don’t care enough to vote let alone discuss any of it. I know it's infuriating for a lot people," says Ashley, 31.