Do guys want to get married? What holds them back? Guys get honest about getting married with us.
Our parents did it, our grandparents did it — and it seems like every time you turn around, another one of your friends is taking the forever leap with the man or woman of their dreams. Marriage. The white dress, the vows, the cake-cutting, the "I dos" — the whole charade teeters on the commitment two people make to have, hold and see each other through sickness and in health, to love one person, forever and always, until death do you part.
But are guys really all that keen on getting married? And does he really know if you're the one? We asked guys to spill when it comes to the biggest commitment of a lifetime.
Is Finding The One Even Possible?
James, 27, says that finding someone to spend your life with is the goal — but that she doesn't have to be "The One". "There's too much pressure on couples," he says, "to find this 'one' person who you're meant to spend your whole life with. And what if you don't find them? Or what if you find someone that you love and you're not sure if they're the one? They don't give you a guidebook for that. So it's hard."
Adam, 31, agrees. "My fiancé is the love of my life, don't get me wrong, but I'm always asking myself if she's The One, or if that person even exists. And if she did, would I even want her? Probably not. I want someone who's my opposite and who challenges and excites me and makes me step outside of the box. I think if I found The One, she'd be too much like me. It wouldn't work."
But Jason, 29, thinks the opposite. "I think there is a person out there who really gets you and inspires you in ways that no one else can. Whether you meet them or not isn't really up to you — but it's fun to think that your equal ended up somewhere on this earth, isn't it? At the same time, though, I don't think anyone should lose sleep over finding that person. If you meet them, then you meet them; if you don't, guess what? You'll find someone else."
Nick, 25, says that he thinks there might very well be a limitless supply of "The One's" just waiting for you to meet them. "Anyone can be 'The One,' if that’s what you want. You might meet someone who's 'The One' when it comes to getting along with your family and another who's 'The One' when it comes to sharing all your interests with. There's not going to be just one person that has every quality you ever wished for — but that's the fun of it. It's fun to know that more than one person will help give you what you need."
Do You Want To Get Married?
"I used to think 'no,'" Ryan, 30, admits, "but now I think it's something I'll do. My girlfriend and I have been together for nine years and now it just feels like the next step in our relationship, if that makes sense? I think the commitment and all that it signifies is important to us both, so yeah, we'll do it."
Micah, 26, says that he's not sure. "I'm just at a point in my life when I've met so many girls that don't know what they want that honestly I'm not even sure I know what I want. I used to think I'd meet a great girl and just know that she was the person that I wanted to spend my life with, but lately, I'm not so sure."
Jimmy, 27, says that it really just depends on the girl. "If it were up to me, I'd probably never get married, but if the person that I'm with really feels that strongly about it, then I probably would change my mind. It's not that important to me — I'll know when I meet the right girl whether or not she's someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't think I really need a piece of paper to prove that."
So, What's Holding You Back?
"More than anything," Tyler, 24 says, "it just feels way too expensive. I mean, I don't have that kind of money. Can't we just go to the Court House and call it a day?"
"I've watched my parents live through the highs and lows of their marriage for 33 years — and I'm both inspired and terrified by what they've shared with each other. There's not a moment that either one has missed, or a memory. They're the two halves that make each other whole. They're best friends and worst enemies. That kind of commitment to another person is scary when you're my age," Carter, 27 confesses. "But it's something I know that I want for myself one day. The waiting game is meeting a woman who wants the same thing."
For someone so young, he summed up what we all want so eloquently: Someone to share forever with.
What do you think of marriage? Tell us in the comments below.