Comedian Aziz Ansari is embarking on a new project. Working alongside NYU professor Eric Klinenberg, Ansari is authoring a book on modern relationships. The pair took to reddit on March 4th to gather information to inspire their work, starting the new subreddit Modern Romantics. Ansari has already posed multiple questions about dating and love in the modern era and received hundreds of responses. Some made us think, others touched us, and some were just plain hilarious. Check out some of Aziz's questions and the fabulous answers he received (all quotes printed as they appeared on reddit).
Does social media/online world make it harder to be a faithful person in a relationship? Do you find yourself more susceptible to flirtations than before? Tell us about any experiences.
It makes it easier to be unfaithful on the sole basis of opportunity. If you have the morale and character, it doesn't matter what's in front of you. Saying no is really really easy when you actually cherish what you have with someone. - BohemianRapCity
It's the internet baby, the wild wild west. - foreverfoxy
Has anyone met their significant other through online dating or similar way and been kind of embarrassed about it and created a 'decoy' story to tell people how you met? If so, what's your decoy story?
My boyfriend and I met on OKCupid, but he had apparently been telling people we met at a certain bar and didn't bring me up to speed, so when his dad asked me where we had met again, and I responded with the truth, he had some slightly embarrassing backtracking to do. Online dating is the best, it's just like a bar, except it's cheaper, quieter, and you don't have to leave your house. - crypretty
YES! Husband and I meet back in the day on AIM. For 12 years now, we have told everyone that we meet at a party through mutual friends. Problem is, we never created anything else to the story and I can always tell that people know that's not the truth. What are we supposed to say? That my then 22- year old husband was messaging every girl in his zip code on AIM hoping someone would talk to him? And that the first time I went to see him, I was 85% sure he was going to try and murder me? If we were to meet online today, we wouldn't be embarrassed to say we meet online, but 2002 was a different time and now we are stuck with the story for the next 70 years. We have to tell this lame lie for the rest of our lives. So we owe our relationship to the internet, but we also have to lie for the rest of our lives because of the internet. The internet makes things complicated. Hopefully future generations have an easier time. - leventseleve
Has anyone gotten tired of trying to meet new people at bars/clubs and found a better place (IRL not online)? How'd that go?
After seeing your show in New York last year, I waited for a little while after the show for you to come out so I could talk to you. I was standing outside, when a driver of the SUV clearly waiting there to pick you up, asked who I was waiting for/ whose party I was with. Naturally I said "I am here with Aziz", and he graciously opened the door and invited me into your car, since it was cold outside (either I am very convincing or you need to find a new driver). After considering for a long while, I decided I did not want to begin our relationship with the uncomfortable situation of you unexpectedly finding me in your car (potentially naked-who knows). Therefore, I waited outside, and was able to get your attention when you came out. Things started off well, we talked about having gone to NYU etc, when Kate Upton (or similar looking blonde girl with big boobs?) came out. I unfortunately realized that this would not be a good time to ask you to dinner and therefore simply asked for Kate (or literally whoever) to take a pic, which she was openly offended by (why I am assuming it was Kate). Turns out for a model, she is truly a terrible photographer. Anyways, outside your show turns out to not be the best pick up spot. So where would one go to ask out Aziz? - solo42
Has anyone hired a consultant to help you put together an online dating profile or worked with a dating coach? How'd that go?
That's not something I'd ever pay money for. But, my friends and I all kind of found out at the same time that we all had OkCupid profiles (something we'd all been a little embarrassed to admit to). So we all got a little drunk one night, hooked a computer up to a projector, and critiqued each other's profiles. This worked out better than I feel like a paid consultant would: we each knew the good things in each other that could be "attractive" to potential partners and helped each other highlight our best features. - nosillasmash
If you've been single in the smartphone era and in the eras before, how have things changed? Are things better or worse today?
Damn dude, when I started dating we still had rotary phones. You talked on phones, no texting. Basically getting her number was the shit, but then you had this awful dreaded moment when you call and it goes to the answering machine. Most people didnt have caller ID or Missed call ID so you assumed it was simply that they were out. Probably 2 or 3 tries later you might leave the most awkward message ever. then you wait. Sometimes days. Oh god the wait. Youll be waiting so long that hiding in the bushes outside her house to see if she is still alive starts to sound rational. And we still had phone books (thats what we had before google) so sometimes if you knew her name you could find her address. I wasnt above knocking on the front door. When I was younger I would rather meet her father than have her meet mine. My dad would tease the shit out of me for weeks. - indyphil
What are your favorite and least favorite ways of asking someone out/being asked out? In person, by text, through social media, or with a phone call? Tell us why.
Least favorite: got asked out by being sent an email with the complete lyrics to Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is you" - no elaboration, just the lyrics. Guess context can be everything - if it was someone I was into, might have found it sweet in a super corny way, but since it came immediately after a date that I thought was clearly disastrous for both of us, just found it a bit creepy - abtothestract
I run an AdWords campaign that says: "HEY BABY WANNA GET A SLICE AND GET TO KNOW ME!!!" - pamplemouse
If you want to take part in the discussion, go to the Modern Romantics subreddit (here) and share your stories!
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