Guys, you can stop the search. Game's over. Forget Mila Kunis and Jessica Alba. Kate Upton who? We've found the woman of your dreams.
In fact, she's been right in front of you all along — just about everywhere you go. You've seen her contagious grin on subway ads, in Groupon emails and all over our website.
She's happy, outgoing, smart — the total package. Without further ado, we'd like you to meet your newest crush.
1. She just so happens to listen to your favorite band.
2. She kicks butt at work.
3. She keeps herself entertained when you're not around.
4. She's got the whole Marilyn Monroe thing down.
5. She won't ask you to hold her shopping bags. She's got 'em.
6. She's a total beach babe in the summer.
7. But appreciates the crisp autumn air, too.
8. And you know what? Winter's not so bad either.
9. She has a hookup at Seamlesss. Promo codes for days!
10. She gets excited about your fantasy football team.
11. Need an emergency operation? You don't even need to leave your apartment!
12. Xbox One is on sale!
13. She only speaks when she has something important to say. Otherwise, you get a giant speech bubble and a tight Pink dress!
14. She dances like no one's watching.
15. OMG! It's time for Monday Night Football!
16. Her Vitamin C level is off the charts.
17. Pizza for breakfast? You got it!
18. She's a hide-and-seek champ.
19. Free money orders? She's got those!
20. Sundays = one giant pajama party.
21. She will trample an entire family to get you an HDTV on Black Friday.
22. Mystery beverage in a blank can? Bring it on!
23. She carries Euros, because she's worldly like that.
24. She can't surf in the ocean, but she can on her work desk!
25. She loves giving you Christmas gifts ... even in July!
26. She hikes to the top of the Grand Canyon like it's nothing.
27. She's not-so-secretly a huge dork.
28. She can do this ...
29. She's always in a good mood.
30. It's true.
31. Really ...
33. OK, let's calm down.
More juicy stories from YourTango: