Responding to late night texts, disclosing TMI and more habits to change ASAP. K?
Ever ask a friend "What does his text mean?" Or how about "Why does he only text on the weekend?" You're not alone.
Text messages with a potential partner (or even current one) bring up countless miscommunications, plenty of overanalyzing and unnecessary arguments. Wasn't the service supposed to help us connect?
We spoke to Dr. Wendy Walsh, author of The 30 Day Love Detox, during our love and technology Facebook event yesterday all about the tech habits we need to break. One of the biggest ones? Texting! "Texting may be instant but it's far from intimate," Dr. Walsh writes in her book.
Step away from your iPhone and find out how you can improve your texting behavior.
1. Responding To Late Night Texts
See his name pop up on your iPhone at 12 AM? Ignore! When your potential love interest is messaging you late night, Dr. Walsh explains it "shows you are up and available during booty call time." Instead, if you really like him and it's a new relationship, limit text between 7 AM and 9 PM.
Have you ever sent a sext? Nearly 41% of American women have sent them. And sure, it's a good way to keep the spark going when you're in a trusting relationship, but remember naked photos are dangerous when you're not in a committed relationship. "They have a digital life that lasts forever," Dr. Walsh explains, "guys even have websites where they dump naked pics of their ex girlfriends to share with the guys." Is that horrifying or what?
3. Disclosing TMI
It's easy to get wrapped up in a text convo with someone you like. It's easy, quick and convenient. But it's also a way to easily reveal much more than you normally would with someone. Dr. Walsh explains texts should be used for planning a get together, like enable "see you at 7" or "I'll be a couple minutes late." Save the intimate stuff for the phone or a chat in person. "If you can't talk on the phone, you aren't actually in a real relationship," Dr. Walsh explains.
4. Engaging With Text Addicts
After you stop talking about the tender topics through text messages, how can you train your text addicted crush to do the same? Train him. "It's basic behavioral shaping," Dr. Walsh explains, "Ignore bad behaviors." Instead, tell him you'd love to discuss whatever you're texting about on the phone.
5. Thinking He's Perfect
It's easy to get caught up in a fantasy when you're texting nonstop. But this form of communication is devoid of real emotions. (No, emojis don't count!) Dr. Walsh warns not to get lost in a fake relationship.
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