The 17 Most Bizarre, Off-Color Pick Up Lines We've EVER Heard


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These are pretty... out there.

What is it with one-liners: do they ever work? And is there a such thing as a "good" pick up line? Probably not, but we've all heard our fair share of bizarre ones. The come-ons that make you laugh, think: is he serious? And the ones you text to your friends before you can even turn him down.

Our friends at The Stir compiled a hilarious list of the most absurd pick up lines they've ever heard. We dare you not to laugh.

1. Are you wearing a mirror? Because I can see myself in your pants.

2. If you aren't careful, someone's going to fall into those eyes and drown.

3. Your hair smells like daffodils. Can I have another smell?


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4. You've got the legs of a track star.

5. I could either buy you a drink, or hand you $15 to talk to me. You take your pick.

6. You're more beautiful than my daughter.

7. So, can you show me your open-heart surgery scar?

8. I'd like to make this month the most romantic month of your life.


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9. Wanna see me do my Men in Black dance?

10. I'm making a two million dollar bonus this year.

11. I kinda wanna make out with you.

12. Wanna touch my hump?


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13. Hey, what's with this stopping by my online profile and not saying hi? Who do you work for, the FBI? The mafia? Big Earl from the pool hall? Yeah, that's it. You look like one of Big Earl's girls.

14. Adults need playdates, too.

15. I got a good job, I got money, and I'm old, so you know I won't be going too far, too fast. I'll take care of you.

16. You're so hot, I would trade you for a new truck.

17. I'm lost. What's the quickest way to your heart?


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This article was originally published at The Stir. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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