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Weird News: UK Healthcare Funds Boob Job To Fix Depression

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katie price
"These jumblies should makes someone pretty happy." - Fake Katie Price Quote.
Can cosmetic surgery make you happy? Should the government pay for it?

Even if all of those spring break videos I keep seeing on VH1 after 1 AM are only a partial representation of reality, women with big breasts are not only happier than the rest of us but they bring joy to those around them. It's just good science and great math. With these calculations in mind, a woman from Leeds (it's in England) convinced their National Health Service to fund her transformation from Sporty Spice-chested to full-on Use-As-A-Flotation-Device-In-Case-Of-A-Water-Landing Spice.

Per The Sun, Josie Cunningham went from what I would observationally call an athletic A-Cup to a 36 DD with the help of £4,800 (a bit less than $10K greenbacks) of government (re: taxpayer) funding. The now-bosomy 22-year-old claims that her implants were to cure her depression resultant from her small chest. Based on his professional and personal credo "do no harm," her doctor rubberstamped the surgery. While the surgery was for her emotional well-being, she believes it could allow her a career change in emulation of buxom British boob model Katie Price (sometimes called Jordan).

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If Obamacare's goal is to mimic the British system, it will probably turn some naysayers in various red states into its staunchest proponents if it helps end the scourge that is small-breastedness. If we funneled our monthly spending in Iraq into breast augmentation, there would be nary an A-cup within the lower 48 states with money left over for anyone over 45 to submit to vaginal rejuvenation.

A recent study by a couple of European universities asserted that, though somewhat brief, there is an appreciable increase in happiness in individuals after undergoing cosmetic surgery (see the NY Daily News for more on that slice of heaven).

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Is it just me, or are some parts of England in even more need of rebel flag bikinis than Panama City Beach? Good luck out there gang, remember that beauty (even surgically-enhanced) is fleeting; having a terrible personality is forever.

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