A few years back I received a call late night from a crying woman. Her husband, she learned, had cheated on her and she wanted to come in right away.
Having a couple come in when they are in crisis is difficult work in that there is a lot of energy in the room, and it's my job to get us all on the same page.
The couple decided they wanted to work things out, and that took some time. We had to look at things that had happened before the affair. Where, had this couple let their relationship fall? It called for a great deal of honesty and tears.
My role is as a consultant to help guide people on the path they want to go down. I have no vested interest in that I am incredibly open minded to how a couple wants to work things out. And there are probably a million ways to work through infidelity.
In between sessions, I would go to the bookstore and get the latest research on infidelity. Armed with research, my education and my big heart, it seemed to do the trick.
I saw, after time, the loving looks between this couple again. I heard laughter from them. They remembered why they wanted to be together. I was inspired to make a disk of music that represented their relationship - which they loved.
I've seen this couple out in public and I am proud to say they are still together and even have a new child.
I understand not all infidelity has this outcome. Certainly variables play a part in healing one way or another.