Is it okay to spank?
My child is three. She is sometimes a terrible three. I have had the typical day most parents have. Not enough time, not enough patience, and not enough sleep and then along comes the unrelenting three-year old terrorist. They ask a million questions, talk over you, cause you to ask people to repeat themself a dozen times over the phone. Then you try to engage the three-year old and she pouts, shouts, and hits. This is where the battle of wits begins. There are many options to redirect the behavior. Some people use guilt, consequences (toys), time outs, and spanking. Different strokes for different folks.
I will be the first person to say that I am very strongly against spanking. I do not judge those that spank but I certainly question it. I recently read an article in Parenting Magazine that says several studies show spanking to be less than 50 % effective. Many children that are spanked become spankers. To me the trouble with spanking is that is can be too easy to not know when you have gone too far. You swat a child once and it is effective and the next thing you know you have to spank them harder or more often the next time because it is becoming less effective. This does not apply to all spankers but it certainly applies to some. I also think spanking is a cheap way out. It is a straight line or quick solution but at what cost? Even if the odds are slim that a spanker takes it to far or the spanked childs behavior worsens is it worth the risk at all? Something else to consider is that in American society it is never ever acceptable to strike a person. In some states striking a family member will cost you your right to bear arms but you can hit a stranger and still pack a 38 (that is another argument for another day). If this is the social law or norm then how could it ever be acceptable to spank? This father says it is not. You really hold no ground if your child is quick to start physical altercations in school or adult life if your answer to that hard day where the child would not shut up was to spank them.
I have thought about it. There have been moments where a swat on the butt crossed my mind but I will never act upon the thought. The risk is not worth the reward and beside that how do you look a child in the face and hit them. If you are a smart ass who says you turn them away when you spank them then how do you look at them afterwards. It only hurts you more than it hurts them because you had a weak moment where you could not figure out a way to make the child act better. It is human. I am a young parent and all I can do is my best, along with my wife but it will never involve the most passive form of violence.
There are many websites on the internet that lend advice on dealing with bad behaviors. You can also contact your childs doctor for advice. Please reconsider the quick solution.
This is from my blog Tao og Pig Pen