My nieces are such a great resource for helping me to remember not only what I went through when I was dating, but we talk about things they are currently going through as well. They are in their mid 20s, quite the intelligent young women filled with much more insight and the ability to be introspective than I was at their age.
The topic of conversation last night was breaking up and why we stay in relationships too long. Not only have I personally experienced being in a relationship WAY too long and where fighting was normal, but the up and down drama became a routine. Somehow we justify this because when it's "good" it's really good, but when it's "bad" it makes your life miserable. And then there are the litany of excuses to stay. Here are just few we came up with.
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1. Afraid you won't find someone else that you will feel as familiar and comfortable with: Not only will you absolutely find someone that you are comfortable with, but the right relationships for you will not be so difficult. Just think about the abundant amount of single people seeking a relationship. AND….remember, it’s NOT supposed to be that difficult. There is an ease and flow when you find the right partner for you. Paste this message on your bathroom mirror!
2. Afraid the other person will be better or "fixed" with someone else: Think about this….So What?? Staying in this relationship only traps you both. You are not only dishonoring yourself by staying in the relationship, but you are keeping them in the relationship as well. If your partner will work better with someone else, this also means that YOU will work better with someone else. This also stems from your own insecurity and your ego. You do not need to obtain your own self importance by trying to fix someone else. Begin doing exercises to boost your own self worth and let go of the ego desire to control someone else's life. It’s not your place to keep someone trapped when setting the relationship free could be the most honoring thing for both your lives.
Read the rest at Care2: Ending Relationships
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Written by Liz Dawn Donahue
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