How To Fight Fair With Your Partner

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Couple in a fight
Learn how to strengthen your relationship by having less dramatic and more effective fights.

How we fight sometimes says more about us than how we got into a fight in the first place. Living a conflict-free life, especially with a loved one, sounds nice but in reality is impossible. Not only that, but it's unhealthy.

Disagreements from time to time, if dealt with maturely and with the requisite kindness, can actually help to strengthen the bond between partners. And that's not simply due to the makeup sex phenomenon, a theme so commonly mimed in sitcoms and romantic comedies.

Yes, fighting within a couple is normal. However, within each fight lies a potential minefield of insensitive comments and dirty tricks. Fights are only productive if done fairly. Here's a list of seven dos and seven don'ts to keep in mind when entering a tiff to make sure you’re fighting fairly. Following these rules could be the difference between making up and sleeping on the couch.

1. Do: Listen to what your partner is saying
This kind of goes without saying. Literally. If your partner doesn’t feel like they're being listened to, how do you expect him or her to listen to you?

1. Don't: Mock what your partner says, or how he/she said it
While listening is a good idea, don't listen just to get ammo for a sarcastic comeback. And if you're one of those people who impersonates what your partner says in a dismissive/derisive tone, you definitely aren’t fighting to get anything accomplished, you're just passive aggressive.

2. Do: Be honest with your emotions
Sometimes just explaining calmly to the other person why something is bothering you can cut a fight's time in half or more. Saying something like, "You really hurt my feelings when you forgot to call and let me know where you were," is a lot more effective than screaming, "Where were you?!?!"

2. Don't: Cry just because you can
If you're legitimately driven to tears, there's nothing you can do. But if you turn on your eye faucets at a moments notice to manipulate your partner, you're just blackmailing someone emotionally.

Read the rest on Excelle: 7 Do's And Don'ts Of Fighting Fair

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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