When It’s Over

Pinkee here~ Many times the things I blog about coincide with the things that are going on in my personal life.  I would say that many good writers and musicians work that way.  It brings more passion to their work.

Well, this week I’m going to blog about breaking up, because that’s what I’m doing in my life right now.  Or, rather, I’m going to talk about some important learning I have had over the past several months.  I want to share it with all of you, because, along the lines of the myths Lila and I have been writing about, it encompasses another great myth of our times.  And here it is: We are meant to fall in love once, and stay together with that person for the rest of our lives.  Haven’t we all been told that?  Haven’t we all been told that true love is forever?  Well, it is, and it isn’t.

First of all, yes, there are those whose High Self, the God(dess) part of them plans at the outset to find their partner, usually a soulmate, someone who they have known and loved in past lives, and stay together literally ‘til death do they part.  But that is relatively rare.  Most of the time, our High Selves agree that we will meet in this lifetime and stay together for a pre-determined amount of time. We will learn what we can learn from each other, and then it will be complete and we will move on to continue our learning with different partners.  This may turn out to be a total of two partners or twenty.  None of it is wrong.

The problem is, our personalities usually don’t know that, and our society tells us differently.  So, and here’s the really crucial part: we are set up to think that we have failed if our relationship or our marriage, Goddess forbid, doesn’t last forever.  In fact, when I was married and going to counseling, our therapist literally told us that we had failed at marriage.  Wow.  For years afterward, I was afraid to really commit to anyone else because I believed what he said, and didn’t want to fail again.

And here’s the part where true love really IS forever.  For example, my partner and I love each other deeply even though we are choosing to separate now in this lifetime.  We loved each other before we met in this lifetime, we’ve loved each other for the past five years that we’ve been together, and we will love each other for the rest of our current lifetimes and into eternity.  I know that may sound incredibly sappy and overdramatized, but it is actually true.  I can’t explain how I know that exactly.  I just feel it in my bones.