He Can't Be Your Superman, No One Can

By

not superman
Poor Kate Gosselin wants a guy who only exists on 3-color paper.

Kate Gosselin, mother of eight, made a trip by NBC's Today Show, likely to promote the program Kate Plus 8. She and Matt Lauer exchanged pleasantries, discussed the show and then worked into Kate's personal life. When you're a single mother of 2/3 of a dozen with an infamous divorce in your rearview, the chattin' is going to eventually get around to dating. Kate laments her mediocre dating life and more or less rules out 100% of all available men. (Check out MSN for the video)

The money quote from Kate Gosselin, "I feel like I have my life together pretty much, but let's be honest; it's going to take a strong person to wrangle this mess. If [a suitor] can pass the test, he's got to be Superman." Granted, when your ex turns out to be a lithograph shirt-wearing goofus, no one faults you taking your time with the next relationship. (Side Note: has anyone ever fallen out-of-favor so fast and so irrevocably as Jon Gosselin? We gave Mel Gibson more of a second (third) chance than this poor jag. Maybe if Jon Gosselin had only made Braveheart…) Jon Gosselin Re-Joins The Dating World [VIDEO]

But requiring a guy to be Superman is a tall order and a built-in self-sabotage. Someone (Fine, Voltaire, but I'm trying not to be an ass) once said, "Perfect is the enemy of the good." I'm not advocating settling. Buddha forbid you sell yourself short and wind up with a real crumb bum for a spouse but expecting perfection is a great way to wind up with nothing but the tired-ass excuse that there are "just no good guys out there." The Settling Debate

After being married to a Douchous Majorus and having a whole litter of little ones, I can understand why banging some guy just because he has a motorcycle and natural highlights would be a mistake. Samewise for introducing a dude to your kids before you have the measure of his character. But aiming for the morally, physically, emotionally and intellectually perfect guy is wildly unrealistic because you are flawed and no other person can be expected to perpetually save you. In fact, even the idea of perfection is really boring. You can be a gentleman, a hero, a scholar and even a saint and still have deep, human flaws. The best you can hope for is a dude who tries hard, is acceptably bright, is nice to his mom, takes you seriously, doesn't take himself too seriously, only yells when the situation calls for it, and is generous. Most people think I'm a righteous dude and I'm only a B+ as a person and a B- as a boyfriend. It's hard enough being pretty good, perfect is impossible.

Do you think men or women get in more trouble looking for perfection?

Note: I'd like to point out that I wore a Superman costume under my clothes until I was 17 (possibly 7, my mom is fuzzy on dates).

PARTNER POSTS