How The Economy's Affecting Swingers Clubs

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arrested woman
The economy strikes again and a lady needs a reminder about what sex toys are for.

It's rough out there, friends. Unemployment is high. Banks are taking a harder stance on foreclosures. And something else that's really crappy. But America's happiest people, swingers (don't argue with me about this), are really starting to feel the pinch too.

As you may imagine, some amount of "swapping" and "play" takes place amongst people who really don't really care about money. Some don't have kids, some have grown kids, some are so poor that the only thing they can do for entertainment is bang each other's spouses and some just realize that life is so miserably short that between-the-sheet variety is the only way to prevent yourself from eating a 45 caliber taco. Not people you'd expect to be dissuaded by a little thing like a saggy Dow, a bummer real estate market or a banana in the tailpipe of employment. BUT NY Daily News claims that people living the lifestyle are hurting as bad as the rest of us who have to sneak around for strange. Open Marriage Benefit: A Three-Parent Household

 

The story goes that New York City swingers clubs are getting pummeled. One of the honchos at DDeviousDelights says attendance at their parties is down 30-40% this year. And, frankly, this could be a time to join as some clubs are offering nearly 50 percent off on memberships. Evidently, the economy hasn't prompted anyone to lower at-the-door fees for these clubs or decided to cross the Rubicon and begin admitting single fellows. Lawsuit Proves Chicago Couple Aren't Swingers

As broken up as I am about swingers clubs struggling, I am sick about this next story. Per the Huffington Post, a woman in Illinois allegedly "stiffed" the staff of Joe's Crab Shack on both bill and tip and made a run for it. The law was alerted to her dining-and-dashing and soon arrived. The allegedly intoxicated woman informed the constabulary that her money was at home and she'd pay the bill (though no word about her planned gratuity). When she arrived home, she went for her bedroom and produced a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" and brandished toward one of the officers. The quick-thinking lawman disarmed the woman before getting a whacking his coworkers would never let him live down. This goes back to my long-standing belief that dildos AND the Bible are not weapons. Also, I don't like the idea of serving crab so far inland unless they get good crabs from Lake Michigan. 6 Sex Toys That Scare Us

And just to make sure that you know I'm down with a lady's best friend, here's a hilarious post from the home office about a gal's affinity for her lil buddy. Can You Get Addicted To A Vibrator? We Find Out

And check us out on Facebook for the new series about Alice and Timmy, America's favorite couple… ever.