5 Sexy Ways To Spend Your Tax Return As A Couple

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couple spa retreat massage
Assuming you get a tax return, here are 5 sexy ways to spend it as a couple.

Like the old adage goes—nothing in life is certain but death and taxes. While death brings eternal peace (can't argue with that), tax season ideally drops off a much-needed refund with a few happy zeros to fatten up our bank accounts.

According to a report by USAToday.com, tax refunds are up by 10 percent this year, with estimates at around $3,036 for the average American. We're going to advise that all of you be responsible and spend a good three-quarters of that on something useful (paying off debt, adding to your IRA, etc.) But the other quarter? Why not spend it with your main honey on something fun and frivolous. Here are a few examples:

1. Couples massage: Second only to giving each other erotic massages, couples massage is a great way to unwind with your significant other. If you book a couples massage at a luxury spa, you two may have the option of booking a special package deal for other services, too. How better to enjoy your refund than with a rubdown, followed by private saunas, champagne and chocolate, fancy scrubs and hot stone treatments?

2. Sexy lingerie: Let your boyfriend or husband pick out a sexy outfit of his choice. Ask what his fantasies are and let him thumb through a few catalogs until he finds something suitable. Anything goes. Yes, even that tacky schoolgirl outfit from Halloween Adventure. Role Playing For Beginners

3. A no-holds-barred night on the town: If you two are cut from a no-nonsense cloth and generally see fancy dinners and pricey wine as a wasteful extravagance, why not indulge in a fantasy date night? Go to the swankiest spot in town, order a bottle the sommelier recommends and toast your caviar to enduring yet another murderous work year. Later, feed each other fondue, get blissfully tipsy and spring for a cab home. 

4. Put money away for a romantic vacation: If you seem to always fantasize about a trip to Paris or Tokyo, use your tax refund as motivation to start researching your dream vacation. Start a fund with your return, add to it each month and watch it grow. 

5. Take a Tantric Sex seminar: For couples who already live off exquisite meals, and boast a closet of french maid costumes and a fully stamped passport, why not slip into something a little more comfortable and take a Tantric Sex seminar. Classes aim to help students connect more spiritually during sex. A good retreat may even result in the two of you experiencing even more intense orgasms using visualization and meditation tips. Tantric Sex 101

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  • Over half of men spend more than $50 on a date, while 65% of women spend that much prepping for it.